I have been married for 4yrs...we live together and everything is smooth. recently, she asked me if I wanted to bring another girl into bed... she works with this girl who is pretty cute... but I can't seem to decide if this would be a good idea or not... I guess most guys wouldn't mind having 2 girls in bed...but for some reason I am undecided... Any advice?
LEAVE HER, NOW!
lol, now that I have your attention...
be realistic. everyone is attracted to lots of other people, it's human nature. unfortunately (or fortunately) we don't guide ourselves on human nature anymore, we guide ourselves on what's socially accepted. so, we decide to try a monagamous relationship. it's what's the right thing to do, right? maybe, either way it's irelevant. loyalty and trust and honesty are all things required to make monagomy work, and those thingas are all gone out the window as soon as you introduce a third party. the fact that she's requesting this just proves that there's no loyalty there in the first place, which is why I still stick by my original statement.
my girlfriend and I tell each other when we see other people that we think are attractive. this actually builds trust, because you know that there are other attractive people in the world, and you'd only be lying to each other if you said there was no one else you're attracted to. HOWEVER... I would never cheat on anyone, and I hope my girlfriend would never cheat on me. you just don't fuck with the system, and while asking permission to introduce a third party isn't the same thing as cheating, it stems from the same aspect of the personality.
Do yourself a favor bro, leave her.
If you love your spouse and want to keep the relationship I would not do it. It may be all fun and games while it's going on but introducing another person into the bedroom can cause many problems down the road.
I've been involved in a threesome with my ex-fiance. It ruined our relationship. We both wanted it, but afterwards all I could think about was how he had slept with her. It tore us apart, he lost his trust for me and I lost my trust for him. Everytime we would have sex I would wonder if he was thinking about her instead of me now. Everytime I brought it up, he thought that I would rather be with her, etc.
It's really not a good idea in a good loving relationship. You obviously are having second thoughts about it, so I wouldnt' go through with it. Why mess up your relationship for one night of careless passion.
Threesomes are for wasted people at bars and party's...I've had a couple of 3-somes and they are very fun...The problem is no experience..Maybe you should let her and her friend go at it first, or see if her friend wants to put a show on for both of you to warm you up to the idea..Be careful with whatever you do with this..STD's are a very real thing, and should not be taken lightly..Make sure everyone's clean...I mean really, you wouldn't buy a used car w/out a carfax report right??? same principle here..
I forgot to mention, the girls that I played around with...Well we don't even say hi to each other anymore..So remember, this is a dangerous game your wanting to play...Some say it's taboo...
Good Luck Friend...and don't forget to rub one out before hand...lol, otherwise your adventure might be shorter than you expect!!
we tried the porn thing...it's weird to her... I don't know what it is...like porn is interesting to her...but doesnt really do much because she looks at it like entertainers who are working...and performing an act... if we go to a strip club...it's more ...fun? becuase it's real? does that make any sense? her exact words were: "you can do it to my friend and then switch to me and I think I'll be more confident and into it in that situation...because I'll see you doing it...porn is like so fake to me..." and for me I have fears of making the relationship unstable...know what I mean? we have 2 boys together and everything is good...and I have worries that I may not trust her if we go throught with this and the other way around...
Sharing your spouse could result in some major problems...including trust issues. Would you be wondering what they're doing together if they were alone? Would you like to watch your wife...someone who you promised to keep only for yourself...with someone else? How do you think she'd react if you enjoyed yourself and found yourself wanting more of the other woman? Would she be ok with it or would she be jealous?
Personally I think once you are married then you don't go elsewhere or let anyone else join you but this is something that you need to decide for yourself. Talk it over with her get all the issues out of the way then decide what you want to do.
ok...the reason why she wants to bring her friend along is because...well it's a weird situation... she has never tried ..anything else but regular intercourse...but she is interested in the other...but is scared to try it because of the pain and stories she has heard about...her co worker does it...and she thinks that for some reason if she saw it right before it that she would be more comfortable with it...? I don't know how to explain it...but it's a weird situation for me...and for some reason she thinks the thought of me doing it turns her on...but she is scared to try it alone with me? does this make any sense?
Even if she is bisexual, it doesn't mean that she needs to be with another woman.
I am a bisexual woman, I do not stray from my relationship with my fiance, and I do not feel the need to bring another woman into bed with us.
I dont know your wife personally. Maybe she's upset because she misses being with women, maybe she isn't too sure if she's ready to be tied down to just one man, maybe her story really is true, I dont know.
Just trust me, I would NOT do it. I've been the situation before, I had one, and we both lost trust for each other and it ended the relationship.
Instead of a threesome then where you and your wife are both engaging in sex with another person.
Why not have another couple in the room having sex at the same time as you. No one in the couple's should touch the other couple though.
It would be like live porn.
Although, she should be comfortable trying things with you. You are her husband. Anal sex is nothing to be scared of if done properly and precautions are taken.
What about just watching porn with anal sex while the two of you are going at it. Would that help?
Ok, let see here, NON swingers giving advice about swing... isn't that funny? I think it is. I am a swinger, have been all my life. If your into it and she is into it, then do it! STOP living your life for others. It will NOT make a good relationship go bad, it will however, make a bad relationship worse! Its not for everyone, but being one of millions of swingers in this country, it good for us. Be careful, talk about what you want, and go for it. I teach swing 101 if you need to know more. Jeff tbp
The chances are though, even with her friend doing it first, she will still be scared. Your wife needs to learn to be comfortable with you first, not bring another woman into the relationship.
To me that's a silly reason to have a threesome, especially since it could ruin your marriage.
I've been in the situation and it definatly changes things, for the worse.
Why not just watch the two of them together? Maybe she wants a woman too, and wants your approval, and this is the way to get it, by offering it to you too. Or, let the other girl touch your wife while you are touching her, and just not touch the other girl. Participate, but only with your wife. It could be mindblowing sex for her.
for the worse? like loss of trustin the relationship? or still scared even after seeing it be done? you know what is weird? I'm starting to question if she is bisexual...cause before me...she has fooled around with other girls...but nothing serious...more like experimental ...
I want to...but what I am afraid of is causing trust issues...like if she enjoys it more than me and she even works with the girl everyday... or what if it causes weirdness around her friend...
Its all up to you.
If you want to have another girl in bed, then go 4 it.
If you dont then tell your wife that your not comfortable with it, and she should respect that.
Well from my point of view that'd ruin the whole relationship for me. But like it's also just wrong if your married... but whatever suits you best
To add onto the others whom I agree with, it could very well be a trick question to test your loyalty towards the relationship! :O
I say dont do it this could be the start to her wanting to do that offten soon another man in bed
trust me if your wife is asking you to join them then they have already did the do without you.