My dad

died when I was 8 and I’m 13 so I never knew I had a dad because my mom never told me. I foundout because I was curious I asked why I had a different last name of my now step dad when I was 6 that’s when my mom told me about my dad then when I was 8 my real dad started calling my house at first I. Was shocked but then every day he started calling me for about a week then the phone calls stopped then 2 years later a lady my real dad got married to called and told my mom that he died two years ago when the phone calls stopped but I got really sad because I really wanted to get to I know him and the worst part was that he moved on it mom came to Cali and he couldn’t go because of problems but still he moved on he got a new wife and yesterday my mom started talking about him and I acted like I didn’t care then she told me that he was a player that he had a lot of girlfriends and children and I felt like a gum ball in a gumball machine full of gumballs I felt like he nver loved me I was probably just another accident just another gumball but before my mom told me that I didn’t want to hear anything bad in my mind I was thinking stop because I wanted to picture my dad as a great guy but now I feel sad and angry at him I feel he’d probably never loved me and sorry I was just writing what was in my mind