Who knows if my mom has the right to do this?

so i didnt’ come home last night but it was just because she’s always finding something to fight with me over and i needed to get away from a while, now she says she aint going to buy nothing any more clothes, shoes, etc. but she isn’t even working we get money monthly since my dad passed away 6 years ago so does she really have the right to do that? if not what can i do if she does try doing that?

Answer #1

She has that right. As long as shes feeding you & not causing any harm, she isnt doing anything illegal. Clothes are clothes, whether they are new or old, as long as you have them. You can take your mom to court because she wont buy you stuff.

Answer #2

Shes your mother and if thats how she chooses to punish you then its not wrong. Your the one who messed up and didnt come home, i hardley blame her for taking action and doing something that she knows will affect you. Theres no law saying she has to buy you new clothing…you own clothes already its not like you would be walking around naked. Some kids arent so lucky and all of their clothes are donations and from the goodwill…be thankful you had a parent who bought you clothes to begin with. If you want privledges and luxories such as new clothes - either get a job and buy them or respect your mother and her rules.

Answer #3

But she said she wasn’t going to get me clothes AT ALL and that’s why we get money every month so we can have what we need.

Answer #4

As long as you are fed, sheltered, clothed, not mistreated, and schooled she is not doing anything wrong.

I’m sorry that your Dad is gone. I’m sure that it is very hard on both you and your Mother. If you can, try to understand that your Mom may be worried sick that she might fail as a parent, plus I’m sure that both of you miss your Dad. Try to understand that she - as well as you - has a very tough time. It would help both of you if each understands what the other is going through. Good Luck!!

Answer #5

What can i do if i am not clothed or so?

Answer #6

You ARE clothed. She is just punishing you by not buying you any NEW clothes. Clothed means ‘has something to put on your back’ weather you have an old tshirt and trackpants or the latest gucci dress, it doesn’t matter. Clothed is clothed, and you have clothes.

Answer #7

She’s doing the best for you guys, your dad passing away must have been very hard :( But you know your mom is traying to do the best alone and she wants the best for you. She is giving you everything, and I’m sure you have enuff clothes that you can survive without buying some while you are punished. She has the right, she is your mom and she does give you, your way of living.

Answer #8

agreed…learn to apreciate what sye does for u. if u dont, u end up rebeling and like me, u end up getting into a mess (ie, eloping,preggers,drop out) it all points to FAILURE

Answer #9

Are you running around naked? No? Then yes, she has a right to do that. Stop being a brat. I can’t even imagine what she went through not knowing where you were the whole night.

Answer #10

I’m saying if it gets to the point where i have no clothes. She knew where i was but she didn’t say i could stay or not!

Answer #11

I’m sure you’ll survive. I have not bought any new clothes in over a year. She did not say she won’t buy you food, so I don’t see where she is mistreating you in any way. She most likely believes you have enough in your wardrobe to wear, and you don’t NEED any new clothes. Now if you were walking around in shoes and clothes that are two sizes too small, riddled with holes, then I would say that could possibly be neglect.

Answer #12

You mean in fantasy hypothetical land if you didnt have two dollars to buy clothes at goodwill? Yes, in your fantasy hypothetical land, if you were running around naked someone would probably call social services. Do you actually understand the concept of no clothes? There are people who earn $40 a month working 12 hours a week, 6 days a week. You probably have enough clothes to last you several years. I work with kids who have to tape their shoes shut and have nothing but cotton shirts to wear through winter. Seriously, I’m not about to feel sorry for you.

Answer #13

And where would i get money from? I’m 14! but you know clothes doesn’t last forever. I am not asking for you or anybody to feel sorry i came on here to ask a question & for advice not for anything else.

Answer #14

You cannot be serious. Do you honestly believe she will be mad at you for the next 4 years and refuse to provide you with clothing? Although I hate to actually give you any excuse to continue to behave like a complete brat, your mother will get over being mad. Her threat is completely idle. She just wants you to not do it again. I know it’s really hard at your age to get over yourself and think of others, but having your child outside the home doing God knows what is really scary. She’s angry because you scared her. I do understand the need to get away. But do it in your room. You have no right to treat her that way. Even if you feel like her job in life is to make you miserable.

Answer #15

Your mom has the right to do as she pleases. She most likely won’t stop buying you necessities, but you have to understand her reason for being angry. You’re her child, and at your age, you shouldn’t spend the night away without her ‘okay’. You should have asked permission, and then you should have followed through with what she asked.

When it comes to this situation with your mom, have you tried sitting down with her for a nice, calm talk? If this arguing is driving such a wedge between the two of you, I think this is something you guys need to talk about.. If you don’t want to talk, at least write her a letter about why you stayed away? Let her know that you’re sorry and that you love her, but that the arguing you guys are constantly doing is hurting you (if it is). As much as I know how hard it can be, running never erases the true issue beneath.

In any case, I hope things go better for you.

Take care.

Answer #16

No i don’t believe that but i HAD to leave because a few days ago when i tried ignoring a situation she still kept bothering me when i was in my room and she even put her hands on me to the point where i had a few scratched on my arms and hands! And she isn’t understanding at all i just didn’t know what to do any more.!

Answer #17

As long as you’re not being physically abused, she had the right to punish you like that. You should be more thankful that you have her. If I where your mother I would do the same thing.

Answer #18

It is very disrepecful to spend your night away like that and expect her to be okay with it.

Answer #19

She has physcically abused me recently and she had done the same to my sister before…

Answer #20

If it gets out of hand you should call the police. But if she is just punishing you by not buying ou clothes. She has the right to do so.

Answer #21

Try to talk to her. I know, you’ve heard that before. And I know you think she’s completely unreasonable and she’s not going to get it. I also know that you’ve probably tried before and it didnt work. Mostly because that’s how I figured my mother was at 14, and also parents can be difficult to talk to at that age, because you’re both so deeply embedded in a negative cycle. But here’s the thing. You dont have any other options. And I know she cares. It’s harder to do something about a parent who doesnt care. So you just have to figure out how to get through to her (you can do it, i promise). If I may make a suggestion. Apologize about staying out without her permission. Explain that you know that you shouldnt have done it. And then talk to her (very calmly) about how you felt. See to her this looks like you were just defying her and trying to make her worry. While the other side of it was that you got overwhelmed and frustrated and you made an impulsive decision. Dont attack. Dont talk about what she did wrong. Talk about how you felt. And try to show that you have some understanding of her point of view. You dont have to agree with it. But some recognition that she is a person, she has a side, will get you a lot further than simply attacking her. When things settle down, you might want to calmly explain how sometimes when you get upset you need some space in your room. And while you would be willing to come back and discuss it again (you gotta compromise), you really wish she could give you some space in your room to calm down before you talk about whatever needs to be talked about. Now the thing here is that you have to be willing to go back out and talk. If you use your room to avoid her, she’s going to come into it. You need to stick to your word and use your space to calm down and chill out, but not avoid. Try to not use words like ‘you always’ ‘you never’. They’re not true and they’re not helpful. Mostly stick to ‘I’ and less of ‘you’. Try it. It does work. If you can stay calm.

Answer #22

As your mother she has to make sure you have clothes to wear. They don’t have to be numerous and they don’t have to be a style you like. She doesn’t even have to buy them, she could get them donated. She gets to choose how the money is used. If she chooses to use it for other living expenses she may do so.

Nothing is free. If you want pretty fasionable clothes you will have to pay for them by respecting her rules.

Answer #23

You give wonderful advice ma’am. salute

Answer #24

Advice is cheap. It’s making changes thats the hard part. It will get better Adriana. I still cant deal with my mother for more than a few days at a time. But it is better. You will figure it out.

Answer #25

Right, sorry. It was still meant as a compliment.

Answer #26

I really hope it does because i really don’t like this arguing all the time thing but all your advice is very helpful and very well appreciated =]

Answer #27

I know Natalia, and it is appreciated :) I just didnt want to take away from the OP’s willingness to listen.

Answer #28

As many have stated, she will not be breaking any laws. She has the right to punish you in such a way. Just because she knew where you were at does not mean she knew you were safe. Mothers worry, whether you are 14 or 40…they will always worry about their children. It was unfair for you to do that to her, but you are 14 and thats what 14 yr olds do. BUT, that doesn’t make it right nor does it excuse you from the fact that you were wrong. You should take Ty’s advice.

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