How to make him see he needs to spend more time with us?

Ok… Here’s the deal. I’m 18, married & live on my own. My husband & I have been together close to 4 years. We just had a baby.. She is 6 months now. I go to college fulltime (4 days a week/ 3 hours a day) and hubby is at work from 6am-7pm. So we hardly see each other. Sunday is supposed to be family day. We are able to afford the bills plus whatever else we need or want. With his job, we are financially (sp?) stable. Now. He tells me yesterday that he has gotten a second job. (3rd shift) .. For what? I already told him that I didn’t want him to go and have this job as well. But, he still is doing it. How can I make him realize that he needs to spend the little time that he has with his wife & daughter? I mean, we are happy & in a good relationship. But, he just thinks that he has to work so hard so much, so he’ll have lots of money… And retire early. Well he has a wife & baby at home that miss him dearly… How can I make him realize that?

Answer #1

Ok stephanief987 don’t lecture her just put in advice!

Anyways I was a teenage father at 17 and I joined the army to support my wife and now 2 children. I’m currently in Iraq so yes starting early usually means that you won’t be able to spend a lot of time with your family as the father. I only saw my wife about 30min out of the day when I was back in the states and even then I was too frustrated with work to really spend any quality time. As a teen father most people look at you like a piece of cr@p and won’t listen to you so he’s trying to prove himself as a successful man of the house. Also he might not be use to being a father so he’s trying to avoid it and just support you from the front.

If you want him to stop working so much you pretty much have to tell him that you need him at home more than he is needed in the work force. You HAVE to communicate with him. Sit him down even if he has to skip work for a day. My wife actually made me sick so I had to stay home and talk lol but I think that was a little too extreme but it did work. Communication and your happiness will be the only thing that will keep him from being a workaholic.

Answer #2

Yeah what you have to do is pretty much just tell him you need him… and we need to spend time together you just really neeed to talk to him tell him how you feel! tell him that you miss him you and the baby!!!

To stephanie… she gives aWFUL advice cant believe she is a advisor!! she is being ignorant to teen parents saying that you are not making it when obvisouly you said up there you was and you just didnt want you husband working soo much.

But as I said just PLease try talking to him… it just might make a difference… Hope the best for you 2!!

Good luck

Answer #3

hey well I think that your man is trying to make everytning betetr for you guys and you have to tell him that you appreciate him. you guys need the money and well this is only untill you finish college then you could work your a*s of too lol joke,

Answer #4

thank you for the advice. stephanie obviously you didnt read my post very accurately. I can afford to pay the bills and take care of my child… that is not the problem. I am very mature… and am ready for marriage… obviously… he just works too much, and is never home.

Answer #5

This is just as much your fault as it is his. You are 18-years-old, you both rushed things way to fast. So, now its going to just be problems all the time. Thats what happens, you were in such a rush to grow up so I guess your going to have to deal with it. I’m 18-years-old… I wouldn’t be able to move out and afford bills, I wouldn’t be able to support a child, I’m not mature enough for marriage (I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 14-years-old)… and neither are you. Move back in with your parents, with your child… this situation is not working out for you. I’m not saying leave your “husband” but… you need a change. Of course he doesn’t have time for a wife and a child, hes young and hes trying to make a living. You should have thought about that before getting “married” and having irresponsible sex.

Answer #6

Sounds like you guys have a nice life even though you are young, married, and have a baby. Good for you and I’m glad things are going so well. You definately need to tell him about how financially and emotionally happy you are in your current situation and that you don’t feel that he needs another job. I know a few guys my age who can take on that much of a work load, but they usually don’t spend any time with their families and they are always tired, so I know why it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to keep this second job. Good luck and I hope he listens to you!

Answer #7

That was my advice, mind your own business and move on.

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