Love... How to get past the tough times when boyfriend in jail?

I have this boyfriend that I have had for the past 4 years. I love him with all my heart, he means so much too me. But he has been locked up for the past year and half. (still dont know if or when he will get paroled out). I want to stay with him and stick by him through it all. Good comes with the bad I believe. But we havent been getting a long for a while now. I just feel so unhappy and almost ready to stop dealing with it all together. I use to get happy when I got a call from him now its like dam didnt I just talk to him!!! I just feel that he has changed (which he doesnt think so) and I cant stand to even talk to the person that is anymore. Please help me out with things I can do to keep us strong until he gets out.

Answer #1

most people change when they are away and dont notice it. it is hell on those that are home bc they notice this every time they talk to or see them. yes you should take the good with the bad but if things are getting to the point where you are unhappy then the time for you to change has come. I dont mean to change personality but change the way you see the relationship.

Answer #2

Well, first off, he probably has changed…and I’m sure you have too. Being apart for a year and a half would be hard on any relationship, but then you’re also throwing in him being isolated from the world and that makes it harder. Try to remember that while his life is being put on hold and not really moving forward you are still out there living and having a “life”. He probably can tell what you’re feeling when you talk to him and that probably scares him (being that he can’t do anything about it). He’s probably also frustrated because he wants to be out there “living” with you.

If you really can’t deal with it then you need to move on, but you NEED to be honest with him. It would not be fair to him if you didn’t end it, or you just left him hanging. Try to remember though, you are your number one priority!!! You need to do what’s right for you!!! Do NOT worry about what’s right for someone else.

If you want to stay together then you two really need to talk, both of you. You need to be honest with him. Let him know how you’re feeling. Just do not make him defensive otherwise you’ll be right back here again. Listen to him, ask him how you’ve changed, do not get angry when he tells you…just really listen and then think through what you want to do.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

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