I want to leave my parents house, any advice?
Sorry, here is the rest of the question I originally typed up...
I want to leave my parents house.. I'm currently 16 years of age, and I've thought of alternatives as opposed to just running away...
I've looked at emancipation, but I think that would just tear up my family and make it literally impossible to ever talk to them again...
It's really only my father I want to get away from, he's an over controlling nasty person.. He drinks practically every night of the week, and lectures me about his personal problems. I can't deal with those things. I don't know what he wants me to say and he chucks a massive shitty attitude at me because of this..
A few nights ago he decided he'd read through my mobile phone text messages, and he discovered something that, generally, a father wouldn't want to see in his 16 year old daughters phone.. About being pregnant, and having sexual relations.. Well, the part that pisses me off the most is that those messages are a)from someone I don't even know, b) months old, and c) completely false!
Now he thinks I'm a liar, everytime I try to talk to him about this crap he either ignores me or verbally abuses me in some manner... My mother believes me and backs me up 100% with this scenario, but she can't say anything to my father without it negatively impacting on her relationship with him...
The option I was looking at for an escape was to move in with my mothers mother.. My nana.. I spoke to her this morning after trying to contact her through MSN messenger, and her being away or inactive.. She called me this morning, via the homephone as I have not recieved my mobile back since the night my father decided to read my messages.
She basically told me that I couldn't do much, because she was leaving on a camping trip in July.
There's a bit more to this story but it's quite complicated. So I've left it out here, if anyone has any ideas / advice for me.. It will be greatly appreciated.
That's a bit diff then. I see by your profile you are just getting ready to turn 17--so you have a whole year until you can move out on your own. That's rough...
Is your father physically or sexually abusive as well as the emotional---because it is emotional abuse whether he knows it or not (or even cares). If neither of those are present is there any way you can hold out until next year when you turn 18?
Get urself a job and save every penny you can so that you can jump ship as soon as possible after turning 18. Not only would you be making money, but you wouldn't be home as often and less time having to put up with him. Will he allow you to work? All the other free time you have work it to where you can hang out or sleep over at your friends houses. I really don't see any other way sweetheart unless your Nana changes her mind. Legally, unless your pregnant its very difficult to be approved for emancipation and as you said it will stir up a lot more and possibly longer lasting problems with the family. Just try to stay away from home as much as you possibly can, avoid him when at home (if possible), save money, and get out ASAP after you turn 18. Sorry I couldn't offer anything else. (And btw, pls don't think about trying the preggers thing to be emancipated!! (: Also, moving in with a friend and her family would require YOUR families permission to move out of their home). );
Okay, my father probably would let me work, but I'm in my senior year at highschool, and this is affecting my grades as well as my social attitude, and he's only psychologically abusive, I've been waiting for him to physically abuse me as annother alternate ticket to get directly out of this hell hole..
So I've got year 12 of highschool to complete, and no doubt that my father would find a way to whinge about methods of transport in getting to and from work as I'm not old enough to have my own liscence as of yet.. Hopefully getting P plates when I turn 17, (next month) despite what the profile says..
As for spare time and staying at friends houses, I'm pretty much contrabanned on every type of social links / communication that he can think of, as he still has my mobile phone, the only reason I'm on the internet right now is that I have my laptop in my bedroom and he must've forgotten to unplug my ethernet cable from the modem..
Well. First make sure you have a job that pays well enough to pay rent, utilities, cable/Dish, utilities, gas / or public transportation fees, all of the absolutes and then have enough to put away and save for emergencies as well. work before you move out and save all you will need to move into your own place. Usually 1st and last mths rent, then deposits for utilities and 6 mths mthly pay to hold you over if you should lose your job. Buy things you will need now while you have time to shop and find good deals. Cookware, dinner ware, silverware, glasses all the stuff for kitchen and dining room you will need. Also for the bathroom, shower curtain and liner, soap caddy, etc This may sound like overkill, but trust me...its a lot easier to do it now than when your living paycheck to paycheck with nothing to buy anything with.
Do not leave those things for your father or mother to find. Delete them before you lay your phone down. but as far as moving out. I wanted to get emancipated when I was 16 also. First thing I would say is find a reliable room mate first. I moved out and my room mates weren't paying their share and I had to move back in with parents. Room mates can be a major help or a major burden and yes like she said get a good paying/steady job. Look at it this way... you are 16... you might not be able to get out now... the first thing I would suggest (from experience) is to save up money for the next 2 years. That is so important. Those 2 years will be over before you know it. Just hang in there... stay strong... and make that bank.
Yikes! I feel for you dear, he sounds horrible. Well, at least you have a little distraction tonight--- Just find a job,,and save, save, save!
Feel free to fm me anytime if you want to talk about anything!!! [•=
I tried getting in contact with my grandmother, but she's leaving... And I don't really trust anyone else.. I'm still hoping that she can help with something though..