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Kindness from your heart

Why is it for some of us that when we help someone out we end up getting the shaft. I know I am tired of helping people out and being the person that I am end up regretting that I could help them. Example; Letting my sons girlfriend move in , I thought that was going to be a good thing but can’t get her to help out with the bills like maybe buying some groceries. I am about ready to tell her see the door don’t let it hit you in the behind.

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Answer #1

Helping someone out should never come with expectations - you help because it is needed, not because of any benefit that you might gain from it.

Most people receive help and never talk to the person that helped them again…once you learn to let go of expectations, you shed disappointment.

I have a friend living with me after I bailed her out of jail. Now her boyfriend (who just got out of prison himself) is living with us. I do their laundry, cook their meals, clean up after them, my husband drives them into town every day for whatever they need (a 30 minute drive each way), and they don’t so much as lift a finger to wash the dishes…but you know what? I offered to help and I expect nothing.

Sure, it would be nice if the person would help you out, but this is not a perfect world and there are no perfect situations.

Either accept that your help is one-sided and move past it, or chalk it up as experience and avoid helping again in the future.

Answer #2

Make her be responsible / do her part if she’s going to live there - don’t enable by not taking a stand…I wish you the best !!

Answer #3

Did you tell her that she’d have to do this before she moved in?? kinda like an agreement. you can’t just throw this in her face all the sudden, cause if she had known this she may not have moved in at all. you have to think things through before you try to help someone. But if you have told her this, you have to be serious about kicking her out, that’s the way you teach children and she’s acting kinda childish (only if you’ve told her though).

Answer #4

You have heard, I’m sure…’No good deed goes unpunished”??? :)

Very few of us get too far in life without learning that that our “good deeds” are only as good as the person on the receiving end…experience teaches us to be more discriminating as to who can and who cannot live with us.

As ichibanarky says…”Our serenity is directly proportional to our expectations”…

p

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