Is my song good?

Im not sure if this is better as a song or poem, but the name of it is Remain In pain its the feelings I have been having the past few weeks, i would like to know if its good, its about my family

There once where people I could call family. there once was people, i would look up to maybe one day i will have that again but until then, i remain in pain

I never felt this way before so depressed, like life was unfair I wish I could restart this life but until then, I remain in pain

Why is this happening to me I cant handle this no more I cry myself to sleep every night and every dream is like a fright How could you let this happen to me I dont understand, dont you see every day the pressure gains i will always remain, in, PAIN!

Answer #1

Being an aspriting poet/writer myself I think that this is a good poem.. if it comes from the heart then it is true and good. It is you. You say alot about yourself (if it is) and how negative you view on life. However from an English aspect of it, I think it could do with more techniques such as metaphors or oxymorons. Make it dark and dim but effective.

Answer #2

i like it a lot. hope things in your life get better.

Answer #3

that was amazing.. keep writing to express your feelings

Answer #4

I think it’s very good as a poem - I hope things vastly improve in your life…wish you happiness.

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