I think your poem is perfect as is...I wouldnt change a thing because you wrote it from a special place & no one has the right to judge it or you or change any aspect of it...
I also write poems...I personally thought it was amazing...and I would actually copy write it so no one can steal it from you then enter it in a local paper!!!!(just my personal opinion!) You describe every word the way you see it & it's a gift so dont allow anyone to change it!!! ♥
You have a few spelling errors. Such as: Infactuation being infatuation, posses being possess, on the 7th line the 'there' is supposed to be 'their' same as the line after with the 'there' being after lust. Exsistance is spelled existance. Your poem is good but I'd say correct the spelling errors and it'll be even better. Good job, :)
It'd be better if your profile had at least a photo to go with it :D
yeah im not the most amazing speller lol
Haha it's fine. :)