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-.- im weak

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I thought I was a VERY strong person mentally. Now I realize am not. I put things off and pretend like I dont care when inside im dying. Im very dramatic and I wont lie abt it. I have my good moments and bad moments. Im strong yet im extremely weak when it comes to some people. I know stuff is affecting me but I dont want to do anything abt it. I keep everything from everyone. I feel like I cant trust anyone but one person. Im constantly worrying abt everyone and everything but when it comes to something affecting me I wont care. I realize this is a bad way to live. I dont care abt myself I do stuff I KNOW will hurt me. Im constantly breaking down and I cant tell anyone abt it. I cant trust anyone anymore[[except one person]] and that person has her own probs. I dont understand why I get so emotional and cranky outta nowhere. I miss people I let go and I know I cant have them back. I've said things I didnt mean. I've done things I didnt want to do. Im driving myself nuts. I probably sound insane at the moment but I dont care. How can I possibly calm myself at mind? How can I stop stressing abt things I know I cant fix? How can I learn to focus on myself instead of people who dont matter? -_- I sound fkin crazy.