I want to be goth but how do I tell my mom?

im sort of goth.. you could say.. you dont even have to tell your parents, I didnt they just sort of went along with it and it was fine/

Im sorry but, if your are trying to be goth, or think you are, you dont really worry about asking your mum. Goth is image and taste, but if your really set on it, ease yourself into it. Dont ‘ask your mum’. Start wearing more eyeliner, a studded bracelet or two, listen to some slightly more alternative and/or hardcore music and move on from there. =]

well if you start easy like start wearing a little black and than more and more but at the time like be more nice to your mom and maybe she might not notice it as much

God and Satan are very real…..would you say ‘going goth’ is testing the waters for good or evil ??….could it put you in a downward spiral ?

I am “goth” as you put it. when people call me names or call me gay I just ignore em.

sometimes I say sumtin a little rude and they are all like”whatever”

why do you want to be goth? i guess i just dont understand

If you play with the Devil….you’ll have His fingerprints all over your life. IMHO

I am a Goth who cannot establish claims of an advanced age, although you cannot disregard of the Elder Goths, as they provide the foundation of the culture due to their unwavering endurance, although ‘foundation’ is apparent, yet is unfortunately quite deficient irrespective of those who are willing to preserve of it. I became a Goth and modified my appearance merely 5 years ago, and I am quite content with this manner of being. It is assumed that discrimination against Goths is merely a trivial and humorous matter, although it is certainly not, and a genuine Goth would remain a Goth for the duration of his or her existence, and continue to maintain the appearance as well. I cannot possibly comprehend why it is that Goth is perceived of as some sort of personal choice, rather than a source of enlightenment and legitimate belief system that people are actually devoted to, and that Goths, on the condition that they wish to cease experiencing prejudice and intolerance, should simply revert to their previous beliefs and discard of their ‘Gothdom,’ despite the fact that Goth is similiar to a religion in numerous respects, and is definitely a valid culture, although unfortunately is not very well received by the Dominant Culture and is therefore perceived as something done in jest and insincerity a.k.a. a ‘phase.’ When Goths complain they are simply considered ‘angsty’ rather than possessing a legitimate purpose for experiencing such emotions in relation to the circumstances. Haven’t the majority of non-Goths ever conceived of why it is that despite an unreasonable amount of discrimination that Goths confront daily they continue to espouse the beliefs and dress in black and apply ‘unconventional’ makeup?

I am cognizant of the fact that Goths are not of your kind. We do not adhere to identical or even similar values, yet we simply desire peace. We are a pacifistic community and therefore could never invoke this unjust treatment upon ourselves. My intention is not to convert you to my ways - I simply desire your patience in reading this. I wish to merit your company and walk amongst your kind without the lingering shame concerning who I am. I wish to accomplish what you accomplish, to simply arrive within a public location without being ridiculed. I myself possess numerous aspirations that I am unfortunately unable to achieve due to the conservative society declining my offers of contributing to civilization. Yet it is not I who shuns them in return, as certain Goths do, rather, I strive for the common good. I would not refrain from assisting others when my assistance is needed. I recognize morals and principals, and attempt to do what is ethical in any given situation. I may perceive of such matters in a manner which is contrasting to society, yet this desire is what all human beings share to a certain extent. It is inherent within us all, some more so than others.

I must request something of you and I shall remain grateful up to the interval of time by which I cease existing and perhaps beyond that. Distribute the information pertaining to Goth being a genuine culture. Endorse my attempts to produce increasing awareness of this matter which is significant to me. I am simply addressing what should have been addressed prior to when I myself had expressed it. There are numerous Goths of which are often prepared to address this matter although unfortunately do not. It is evident that Goths would prefer establishing the Gothic Culture, although to do this they must be willing to devote their time and effort into achieving it. Yet there is an utter lack of regard for such an important matter which indicates their lack of sincere devotion. I often succumb to a gradual condition of melancholy as I imagine the potential which is inherent within Goth that will never be recognized due to the so-called ‘adherents’ themselves contributing to the very death of Goth. It is as if Gothic people wish to be discriminated against, as they are not attempting to acquire rights or perhaps influence. This persecution complex is making them unsuccessful, and they must discard of it. Dedication of adherents is what will prove to be advantageous, and I am certain if Goths simply become more outspoken when pertaining to issues involving their culture and also remain committed there will be no concern of Goth ceasing to exist within the future.

The perception of Goth as some sort of social scene apparently does not do it justice. Goth is an anomaly of what it should be, as it is lacking foundation – as I had mentioned previously. The ‘Elder Goths’ are often in their 20s, and it appears as though Goth is merely an extension of their youth that they are unwilling to abandon, which absolutely appalls me. The entire concept of ‘youth subcultures’ appalls me as well. If you integrate yourself into a culture or subculture for a purpose, why should a person’s age automatically disqualify such a person from participating? Especially when there are millions of people involved worldwide rather than it being confined to a specific high school (which therefore WOULD meet the requirements essential to being considered an adolescent-oriented subculture). There is nothing specifically youth-oriented about Goth. Goths are not expected to experience antipathy towards ‘preps’ (who most often detest such a label and do not wish to be associated with it) and celebrate teen angst, as certain non-Goths would contend. The Gothic genre of music itself does not convey to others the inherent lack of maturity of the enthusiasts. Therefore it should be assumed that Goth is reserved for simply those who identify with it, irrespective of age.

Goth is certainly not exactly what would be considered a religion in precise terms, although it could DEFINITELY be referred to as a culture, belief system, and spiritual path. For the majority of Goths who do not place emphasis on committment, there are also quite a few who do, including myself, yet these are seldom acknowledged, which is simply awful. I am passionate as an adherent of this specific belief system, and therefore I rigidly advocate the addition of standards which permit no deviation. Therefore only the most devoted of adherents will possess the honor with which to proclaim themselves as adherents. Goths may be tolerant of others, although this is no reason to obnubilate what the term Goth is intended to refer to. After all, people are considered ‘poseurs’ anyhow, despite the lack of definitive standards, and as a result they should therefore be able to understand WHY others are referencing them in such a disparaging manner. The imposition of standards would eliminate confusion, although it would require the assistance of the indispensible members of the Gothic community, rather than the efforts of one person, and that is what would appear to be quite challenging, especially since Goths are distributed throughout the world, rather than within a distinct location, and also because Goths are individuals who are capable of making well-formulated decisions, implying that their ideas and my ideas may not come into accord. They may perhaps be utterly opposed to the mere consideration of Goth becoming established. This is what I am dreadful of.

I wish to establish a distinct unit within Goth. It shall be appreciated, and eventually Goth shall no longer be considered a ‘scene’ in entirety and shall acquire hate crime legislation within locations where it had not previously been conceived of. I am a genuine, sincere Gothic person and this will never change. I do not advocate Goths who modify themselves in favor of immersing themselves into a ‘conservative’ setting or obtaining employment. Corporate Goths could NEVER be regarded as Goths, in my opinion, for they lack the ability to fight resolutely for their legal rights and protection and would simply prefer what is less difficult, although can such people honestly examine themselves and infer that they are genuine? ‘Corporate Goth’ is a loathesome trend reserved for the weak, for those who are unwilling to endure what it is that the non-Goths, in their hostility, offer them. It merely provides a cop-out for those who are apparently not dedicated enough to occupy their time with protesting for rights which ensure that employment will be received eventually. These ideas which I have produced may appear to be radical in nature, although would not the adherents of a specific theology acknowledge the circumstances and strive vigorously against them? Goths are a marginalized culture, and there is no alternate manner of existing for them. Goth is apparently not some preposterous trend, replete with almost farcical lubrigiousity. And there ARE indeed an entire plethora of Goths exterior to the age bracket most frequently mentioned and should be revered for the commitment they have demonstrated without reserve, although unfortunately are regarded as ‘immature’ and it is almost inconceivable in the minds of the Others that one would maintain his or her position as a Goth beyond the age of 30, and those which do so are certainly regarded as being deficient in judgment.

I do not comprehend what it is that scenes provide for others in addition to a false, perhaps contrived, identity. You can most certainly imagine the sense of security a scene can offer, although what occurs for such individuals when it is that the scene expires due to excessive media exploitation or perhaps additional factors? Music scenes are quite susceptible to this, and therefore others should be cognizant of the fact that involvement practically guarantees the intrusion of the media upon their scene as corporations such as MTV are dedicated to attempting to locate what appeals to the ‘trendy’ variety and therefore shall eventually discover it. It is inevitable, and as a result one should merely engage him or her self into a scene if it is expected to be a temporary source of amusement for such a person. Although scenes are not necessarily particularly amusing due to elitism and persistent quarrelling. Attempting to contrive yourself in a manner which is exclusively intended to be distinct from the predominant current of thought is absurd. Avoiding what is mainstream deliberately is perceived of as ‘cool’ within scenes and as a result how ever could one regard others which are engaged within a scene as concerned with anything other than trivialities? The moment a scene receives a slight bit of interest from the media those supposed ‘indispensible’ members abandon the values which were essential to it and perhaps embrace the ideals of another.

I personally believe that Goths are a cultural minority which emphasizes pacifism, tolerance, introspection, spirituality, morality, intellectualism, aesthetics, individualism, creativity, high-brow culture, philosophy, as well as various beliefs, values, opinions, and ideas in response to such matters. Goths should often detest unreasonable social conventions to an intense degree, and should typically be characterized as indignant and engage in ‘insubordinate’ conduct rather than remain in accordance with standards of which are regarded as inconceivable to abide by, although it is evidently to prevent injustice on their behalf when supposed restrictions can easily be obnubilated with oppression. It is my form of Goth which shall continue to exist when this ludicrous social and music scene ceases. We are the minority, yet we shall function as preservers of an immortal culture. We must provide the foundation despite the fact that we do not appear to maintain influence. You must retain the fact that we are here, and we are dedicated and quite conservative (although not in relation to non-Gothic conservatives). When the youth are no longer engaged in Goth, it shall remain anyhow.

This is my vision of Goth - although there are many additional matters which require discussion pertaining to what exactly Goth is, and they shall certainly be addressed in due time. Goth is not an adolescent culture, at least, not the form I adhere to. Wikipedia does not even supply information pertaining to this unit, on the contrary, merely the unit I deviate from, although I am considering making revisions. For me, it is practically a religion, although I simply consider it a culture. The beliefs are not well established, yet certainly those within the notorious ‘scene’ are of a distinct unit to my obscure belief system, spiritual path, culture, and philosophy – and it is indeed established to an extent which supersedes the form of Goth responsible for youthful identity-seeking practices.

Goths should certainly consider the prevaling standards of beauty within the predominant current of thought to be absolutely outrageous. As a result, there should be no ‘ugly.’ All body types should be accepted as well as other physical differences. Those who are simply a bit peculiar in their thought processes and, as a result, are regarded unfavorably, should also be permitted to seek refuge within the culture. Magazines such as Gothic Beauty had immediately repulsed me, as every model had adhered to identical standards of beauty as that of the mainstream, yet were simply alternative in their mode of dress. These magazines should be deliberately avoided by ALL Goths.

Sexuality should remain a topic of concern for Goths. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, those who practice BDSM as well as simply standard s*x…should continue to be accepted, which, in my opinion, Goths are doing quite well with.

In society, a darker mindset is discouraged, although Goths should understand that what is supposedly ‘insane’ behavior is actually the result of suppressed dark thoughts. Goths should assume that if darkness is expressed through art or poetry or there are simply more discussions regarding it, there will be no pent up rage or frustration which eventually results in destructive outbursts. This does not necessarily imply that Goths should merely concentrate on their darker nature, rather, they should simply emphasize it more, especially through aesthetics and creative pursuits, and Goths are continuing to maintain this as well. ‘Darkness’ itself is NOT contrary to morality, as it is simply an essential characteristic within us all which must be embraced. THAT is an accurate definition of a Gothic belief, I suppose.

I personally believe the more unconventional you appear to be, the more dedicated you are. Goth is certainly not about moderation, after all. Thick makeup, skulls, chains, spikes, piercings, and colored hair are, in my opinion, very beautiful as well as convey a willingness to be Gothic despite persecution and hardships. Conventional Goths should always remain quite ‘extreme’ in appearance and being this way shall also promote their self-expression, while moderation restricts it to merely being ‘edgy,’ and, if they are young, perhaps ‘cool.’ This is our cultural attire, and the aspects which shall most likely not be infultrated into society should be preserved, such as the makeup – which far exceeds ‘conventional’ limits, and as a result will always be considered ‘distasteful.’

Goth is NOT what it is that others are contriving into some contemporary adolescent-oriented trend. Goth is timeless, due to the fact that it emphasizes a classical, sophisticated manner of living. Victorianism and Romanticism are ardently embraced, as are animal rights and environmentalism in numerous instances. Self-advocacy within Goth should be requisite up to the interval of time of which we acquire influence, and the majority of countries recognize us as a cultural entity possessing authority. I implore upon you all to assist me in establishing the Gothic Culture as a genuine culture or perhaps spiritual path, rather than a diminishing adolescent trend.

Well, it’s hard to “become” goth if it isn’t already how you feel. Goth is more than clothes and music - they can play a part, but it is mainly a mindset. If you it’s the way you feel it’s the way you feel and if that is really what fits for you, try talking to your mother about it. (Don’t get upset though, if she is concerned - there are bad elements out there, in the goth subculture and in any group of people; always be safe). Don’t listen to people who say that goths are evil, depressed, or are “playing with the Devil”. Numerous colleagues consider me goth - I’m a wildlife biologist and university instructor, I’m well rounded, pretty level headed, and generally quite a happy person. (Although I don’t tend to go around calling myself “goth” - I’m just me). In general, goths are free thinkers which often means they aren’t afraid to explore subjects society at large may sweep under the rug. They are insightful and intelligent, if unconventional, people who tend to have a great satirical/cerebral sense of humor. (There are also the wannabes, posers, and gothier-than-thou types - especially in middle or high school). Get on the internet and look around some goth sites. (ww.goth.net is a great place to start). Why not look over the site with your parents? It might help them understand or feel better, or help you decide if this subculture is really you. If it is, hopefully your parents will understand and let you explore who you are. If this is the case, good luck. Find your style and have fun - don’t worry about what some people say (even other goths). Let your parents worry a little, listen to their advice, and be observant and aware of the people you keep company with. And always - just be yourself.

well the best thing to do is to just do it but start small. dress in mostly black all the time and then move on to eyeliner/nail polish and so on. remember being goth isnt all about how u dress. u also need to not care if people in general dont respect you.. because there will be the odd idiot who looks at u and says some dumb comment like “why are u emo” “how many times have u cut your wrist” and yes by saying that i also mean people tend to stereotype that all goths are emo. u have to be able to not worry about what people think of u and focus on what makes you happy and what you want to do

Greetings fellow user, You may be having this problem for the folowing reasons, also I hope you enjoy my help, and rate my advice, Thank you very much, and enjoy the help below! -Well first of all, I think that, seeing a docter wouldn’t be a bad idea, it’s perfectly normal to see a doctor. Also going goth will not help things at all trust me, eventually there iwll be a point of no return as they say. Trust me, it’s never to late to improve. -Hope my advice help you, Don’t forget to rate =)

     -Phil2611

well my friend wanted to be goth for a really long time. if you have a close relationship with your mom you should be open and honest about the way you feel. and if you aren’t close to her just follow what your heart tells you to

just do it gradually, get a bit of black clothing hear and there, a bit of jewlery ect. do it gradualy, dont throw it at her. shell probs ecept it that way, thats what i did, and now im the most gothic out of my gang, so just do it gradually ok, if u need anymore about it, mail me, kk. and dnt worry, shez ur mom, not a monster, shell eccept u 4 hu u r.

umm yea dont tell her. just start shopping at different places and change your style gradually. if she asks that somethings different or w.e. just say I kinda started liking new things. hot topic:http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/index.jsp and the black angel: http://www.the-black-angel.com/ are great clothes places to start.

ya mite want to get a new hayrr cut and stuff to! xD

my mom doesn’t let me either. it’s not the cause for the end of your world. my advise, change at school, put on black eyeliner in the school bathroom(wipe it off before you get home) and make sure she doesn’t hear any of your twisted songs on ur mp3.

Don’t become a very big goth at first just become a small one then be a bigger one

I am sorry you just dont become goth inless image is all to you , like a prep dont go around saying their a prep or a punk saying their a punk

its okay, my mom wont let me eithier. my advice:that’s not the cause 4 the end of your world. Change in school, put black eyeliner on in school(wash it off before you come home), and make sure she doesn’t hear the twisted songs on your mp3. Do this untill you’re 18 and an official adult.

I am replying to amblessed…

first of all, you should not state your religious opinions about god/satan if you dont want me to POWND u. its physically impossible for god to exist. as for satan, I do believe in supernatural evils such as demons.

give me proof god exists and ill believe. the bible? probably originally a story book, no more real than snow white or cinderella. if you were born in the middle east, you would think something completely different. what makes this religion more right thatn a religion that states that kings are gods.

I honestly think religion is just something people turn to when bad things happen.

AS FOR THE GOTH THING:

just be honest with her. if she tries to stop u, eat sumtin hot and get up some fake tears and simply say,

“I thought you believed in me. What ever happened to being yourself? Am I even allowed to have hopes and dreams, or have you set up my entire life without my say in anything?”

I did that and ignored my mother for the longest time. then she just let me do whatever I want.

now im doin just great.

AND AS FOR THE PEOPLE AGAINST GOTH PEOPLE: shut up. if you have a huge problem with goth people and dont like them as much as you say, ignore them.if you freak out about it, its because you wish you were bold enough to do something interesting for once. and you might be a stalker who doesnt like the change in a stalkees life.