Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Love & Relationships Questions

Why is my boyfriend pushing me away?

Okay. My boyfriend, er, ex-boyfriend, I’m not actually sure. We’ve been together for 4 months. But we’ve been actually like a couple for the past year. We’ve been close the past two years. He’s liked me the entire time, and I liked this other kid. It took me a while to get over the other kid, and allow myself to like my current love. He’s 18 now, 17 when we started dating, and he’s never had a girlfriend. Always waiting, being ‘used’ and ‘manipulated’, and never really feeling loved. He’s an emotional guy, and like all guys, like time to be alone.

He’s a senior this year, probably under a lot of stress with everything going on. He also just completed his Eagle Scout project. He always made time for me while he was busy. We always talked about our future, planned it, said we were going to be together forever. He would always say he was lucky to have me, and never wanted me to leave him. He promised that he was never going to leave me.

And now, out of the blue, he told me he couldn’t do it anymore, and he wants to break up. He feels like he can’t handle it, he can’t do it, and he misses being alone. And sometimes the relationship hurt him.

I had no clue.

This happened on a Tuesday, it is now Saturday. We’ve barely talked, except when we’re arguing. I really have a hard time with dealing with losing him.

He’s been there for so long, I trusted him not to hurt me and break my heart.

Currently, I’m giving him space and time. Hoping he can come back to me eventually. But it is so hard waiting for someone that I don’t know is coming back. It hurts so much.

I suffer with depression and anxiety, medication and everything, and they arn’t even helping with the situation.

Can anyone figure out maybe why he is doing this? Or what I can do so I can please him and keep our friendship better, and make sure he comes back? Help. I need it.

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

Dear Miss, TRY and not take this situation to serious. I KNOW this is easier said than done. Understand a few things. The close part of this relationship is only 4 months….(not long), also understand that there is nothing wrong with you, so the fact that you are medicating yourself because of the way someone else (your ex) is choosing to live THEIR life is crazy, if you think about it.

Tell your doctor to help you get of those drugs….(which he/she can do). All you are doing is masking an underlying issue which is the fact that your ex is making choices that don’t include you. There is nothing you can do about it….you can’t control people, and by the way if you could it would make for a horrible life and a horrible relationship….you would have children and eventually either split or live miserable etc…. Use this time to start focusing on you. Taking care of you. Doing things that make you happy. Go shopping, go with friends, try and force your mind and thinking away from your ex. Maybe this is good for you….maybe because of your ex leaving, this means it will free you up to meet someone else that will bring you more happiness..more joy..more laughter, more love than you ever thought possible. When you DRUG yourself through this time it will not let you be fully aware of your bright future. I will leave you with this. One thing I have learned is that when you operate from your heart it can always give you peace in a situation like yours. If you have (from your heart) wanted the best for your ex and tried to keep the relationship going and he chooses a different direction than what you thought, there is nothing you can do. BUT the fact that you are motivated by your heart means there are such great and exciting things and people out there for you. An old friend once told me that he went to his Italian mother sad and depressed because of how a certian situation was not working out the way he thought it should go. So his mother asked him if he truly was motivated from his heart….he replied yes!! She asked “Then how can your situation be wrong” Familycoach

Answer #2

Nothing in the world can bring him back…unless HE wants to! No one knows why he did what he did..could be he doesnt truly love you..could be he found someone else..theres a number of reasons why, but only HE knows! HE holds all the cards, and you just have to accept what has happened (though it will be hard) but you have to move on! I dont mean to sound so cold, but i think at least once in our lifetime, everyone will go through a breakup we didnt want to happen! We have no control over what someone else decides! We just have to accept it and move on! If its meant to be…he’ll come back!! Until then, dont waste your precious time thinking of why all of this happened!

Answer #3

I’m going through the same sort of thing except I’ve been with my boyfriend a year. we are really in love or more to the piont were ( I dont know) im in college and he is still in school and has his exams as the moment. I dont know if it is down to stress (it may be with yours)to be honest I fell totally lost atm. I cant stand not being with him and I miss him sooo much we have so much to talk about too!! we are so so so close. I dont know what my life would be without him and I dont want ot know!! I think you are right by leaving him alone but lets face it we are not mind readers we can not tell what anyone else is thinking (even though we would like to)so I think let him have a little more time and then talk to him you deserve a answer to your qestions. however dont be to pushy or you may just push him away more. I hope it works out for you I really do.

Answer #4

I have a situation with my current boyfriend who keeps pushing me away but still telling me he loves me and always will. I kind of understand why he is doing it but don’t understand why he wants to throw it all away. He has had some trust issues in the past and an ex partner who cheated on him. He is forever saying you are out of my league, which I keep reasuring him that I am not and I will never leave him to go through this alone but none of it seems to work. He has no confidence in himself, I can’t seem to say anything right, he questions all my feelings towards him and it really hurts. I am struggling because I like this man very much and to top it off we are an hour and a half away from eachother so don’t get much time together. I don’t know what to do, I want him to be able to trust me and I so want to help and support him, be his partner. The funny thing is he still lets his emotions and feelings out to me but still keeps me at a distance. Help Please?

More Like This
Advisor

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups