Why am I always thinking about food like this?

omg I have been through the same thing. last winter, I thought I was becoming anorexic and started to act the same way as you are. (well, after that I got better but then my eating disorder was reversed and I got a compulsive eating disorder). But I remember it like it was yesterday. although everyone told me I was skinny, I would just look in the mirror and saw that I was fat and I never felt as though I was skinny enough so I decided not to eat anymore to loose weight. I used to feel so guilty whenever I ate and tried to make myself throw up afterwards (I could never do it). But after I got help and I got better but then a few months later of course I got another eating disorder. anyway the first thing to realize is that starving yourself will actually only make your body take in more fat when you start eating again (you can’t live long without eating), and then you’ll seem fattter an ever. but just realizing that can help you realize that food is a fuel for your body and you should be working with your body, not against it. I remember getting those back pains and stomach pains and not being able to sleep too. but once you start eating healthy foods it actually goes a way a bit. the best thing to do is to just eat healthy and excersizing. after I was cured, I started eating a lot of fruits and veggies, and ended up loosing more pounds than I had when I was not eating at all. it was kinda strange actualy. I hope I helped a bit. GOOD LUCK.