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jonathan is 24. im 15 . we started dating when I was 14 and him 23. He taught me how to be strong and stand up for myself. My dad dont approve of him because of his past. So my dad had him put in jail for stagitory rape. Its not a walk in the park for both of us. we are use to being around each other. If we wasnt with each other we would always be on the phone with each other. There was some things I didnt like and it scared me. He would choose going to the bar & strip club, He would call other girls and everything/ [ this was before jail. like one month into dating ] . But now he says he has changed. He hasnt EVER lied to me about anything if he done it he told me. He says he wants to spend the rest of life with me. And I dont know what to do? I want to believe he is telling the truth.,but I dont know if he is just wantin me to be here when he gets out of jail just because no one else is here for him to love. I love being around him. I love everything about him. he makes me so happy. I just wonder sometimes if he really loves me and is going to do right this time. He asked me to marry him

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Answer #1

Trust me when I say I understand how it feels when you are so attached to someone and you can’t even imagine life without them. I was attached to my boyfriend in high school. I did everything he wanted me to do because I thought I would not be whole without him. But after awhile, the relationship became very unhealthy because I could not function without him…and that’s not good at all. The bad thing was that people around me could see it, but I defended it because I was in love and I felt like I couldn’t turn my back on him. It took me 4 years to finally realize that this was not what I needed for my life. 4 years that took up time when I could have been focusing on things that were important to me. I had to make a seriously HARD decision to walk away. It hurt and I cried and cried and I was tempted everyday to go back to the place where I felt comforted, which was with him. But then I remembered how bad and detrimental it would be for me and I slowly became strong enough to move on.

It will be difficult to walk away. I’m not going to lie to you and say it is easy. Many times, people just tell you to get over it but it’s not simple when you’re in love. I advise you to really think about what’s best for you and not for the both of you. What you need personally can be hard to see when you factor someone else into the equation. It seems like you are a selfless person and you care about him which is why you want to hold on. You want to be that person that stayed with him through the hard times. That’s not a bad desire to have but it should be channeled in a way that puts your happiness first, and this situation doesn’t seem like it will in the long run, especially with the way he has treated you. I pray that you can find your way to your purpose in life and that you can find the road to escape from this situation and live a fulfilled life. Look at yourself and recognize your strength. You CAN walk away and be just find as time moves on and your heart heals. Just tell yourself that everyday and start the process and I believe you will find strength inside of you that you never knew you had. Keep me posted if you like. Remember, one step at a time and one day you’ll look up and see that you’ve gotten very far.

Answer #2

Hey. I would start by making a pro-con list about this guy. What is it that is attracting you to him? Is he the first guy you ever had strong feelings for? Is there a sense of safety you feel with him because he is older and you think he is wise and that he’ll take care of you? He most likely is holding on to you because he knows you are young and that you will listen to him and the fact that he has messed up before and you took him back may make him think he can do it again.

The fact that the foundation of your relationship has him in jail is not a good sign. I know its hard when we love someone and our parents disagree, but at least consider the facts here. It is illegal for you to be together which brings stress. You would have to hide your relationship from your family which is another obstacle.

As a 15-year-old, these should be the years where you have innocent crushes, and are enjoying life and outings with peers in your age group. I can understand why you feel the guys your age are immature because you have been exposed to an older generation of men early, when you should be enjoying your youth. There will be a time where you look back, but don’t skip these days…live them. There’s a lot of fun experiences that come in you 20’s, but love where you are now and don’t let it slip by because of the hold this older guy may have on you.

Answer #3

Dont get trapped into something like this. People usually your age ould date guys 15/16..maybe even 17.

You never know if he is lying or not :/

xxx

Good luck.

Answer #4

Im going out with an older guy, he’s 20 but e treats me right. This man seems a bit of a bad boy. Going to strip clubs! And this doesn’t annoy or upset you hun? Oubviusly it’s your desicion maybe give it a trial run and see how things go and then go from there. x

Answer #5

yeah I would never date anyone older, but the night we met, we talked and talked and talked. I dont hang out with people my age and date people my age. there immature.

Answer #6

he promised he wouldnt go any more now, he said he wanted to spend more time with me & he didnt ever want to leave me. Cause he said he knew it hurt me when he would go, I use to sit up and cry while he was there. I would call him & wonder allot. But like I said he promised he wouldnt so we will see. im hope I dont have to leave him, I dont think I ever could. I dont want to be without him

Answer #7

that was such a good answer. I have tried and tried to let go of him, I was doing good one time until I seen him out on work release with the jail & I just started crying. I love him so much, he takes up for me, and he does treat me good, we do have to sneak around though, we havent been able to go anywhere with each other. When I go to his house my dad always found out and stopped by and asked if I was there and they would say no and I would take off. It was horrible. And its soo hard!!! I trust him with my life now, he proposed to me, he hasnt ever lied to me, I dont want to loose him. Im in love with him,.I think of him nonstop, and I dont go behind his back. I think of him before I do something. I go and see him every saturday. I listen to our songs over and over and I look at our pictures.. I love him so much.

I need help

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