I dont know what to do, I just cant sem to stop cheating on my husband. I have no idea why, but I just really love the way I feel when someone else besides my husband touches me. We have s*x at least once a day, my husband and I, except for lately. He dosent want to and weve been married for a year. I am currently cheating on him with three guys, one of whom is his brother and one is my manager in the store whetre I work. I only have s*x with them, I really am not trying to get into any serious relationship with any of them , as I love my husband.
How can I make myself stop doing this? I tried before, and that was right before we had a huge fight.
I was 5 months pregnant and suddenly out of nowhere, got a urinary tract infection. I never had one before so I thought it might have been related to the pregnancy changes.
At 7 months pregnant, my so-called husband did not come home for two nights, did not answer his phone after repeated calls and when he did return home, acted as if he didn’t do anything wrong, as he was “working hard at his office.” He decided to sleep there in order to “get a sales project completed.”
At 8 months pregnant, I got another urinary tract infection, despite having kept myself impeccably clean.
At 9 months pregnant, I had two unexplained flat tires on my VW Jetta. The tow truck driver pulled out two large blades and asked me if I had any enemies.
When in labor, 8 days past my due date, I called my so-called husband to help me, as I needed to go to the hospital. He did not answer 3 of my phone calls so I got my parents to take me to the hospital. While giving birth, he showed up, possessing a strong odor of booze and pink-colored make-up spotted across his collar. My mother acted as if she didn’t notice it, but I did. It was so obvious.
I prayed the whole time I was pushing. I tried to block the smell of his strong liquor and the vision of his sweaty face with his after-sex attire.
After I held a beautiful, blue-eyed baby girl on my chest, l breastfed her, then drank some ice cold water. I realized I was all alone. No one stayed. It was 6:23 am in the morning. I went to sleep.
I think I slept the entire day at the hospital.
Later, a black nurse with shiny hair and glistening eyes smiled at me. Upon waking up, she brought me an ice-cold, 32-ounce cup of juice. Best grape juice I ever had. Her voice was comforting and all-knowing. She held baby Jana in her arms and gently showed me how to hold her while feeding. I was awkward. I cried. The nurse stayed and sensed something was wrong. She actually cared. She started humming in a sincere, soulful manner, as if she held both of us in her arms. She shared a human kindness and love that I had never felt before.
It healed me as I uncontrollably continued to cry. The nurse had a way about her that made me feel like I was close to God. I prayed in my mind as I snuggled with my baby girl.
Three months later, my dad helped move us back to my childhood home. Unfortunately I had to see the cheating with my own eyes before I could leave. I had followed Jana’s so-called father one evening when he left to “go to the gym.”
Please know that God has mercy. It all worked out OK. My parents helped me raise Jana. I finished college and have a career I love. Although I never had the courage to remarry, I’ve had a few amazing long-term boyfriends. My humble life is interesting, challenging and rich with love for family and friends.
villahacker001 at gmail. com
my daughter earned a degree in finance, works for JP Morgan and is dating a nice young of the amazing people that helped me get answers on my cheating husband is an amazing young man i sent a mail by the name nicolas olssen (link shared below)
villahacker001 at gmail. com
Hi, I am a pyschologist who deals with theses issues. I know your post is kind of old, but hopefully you will get this, or others will come across this. First of all, monogomy is an Christian cultural vice that has affected Western Civilization since the religion mainstream introduction 1700 hundred years ago. Hence, the norm of American and most European cultures idiology toward marriage is based on this practise on matrimony.
Ideally, humans are not meant to be monogomous beings. Else male sperm count would be virtually none and we know them horn dogs are dying to relieve themselves everyday. While females may only have one child at a rate of every 10 months (If you go by a 9 month pregnancy with a one month ovalation period). This is why assumely women are less sexual them men. Yet, there are alleles that can cross over at ovulation to a woman that can make her sexual reproductive drive slightly higher.
In short, not all people are made for to recieve one lover!
No I don't know you. But there are also the factors of self-esteem, married to young, attention, and many more mental causes, but that borders into DSM IV for Sexual Addiction. Nothing initially indicates you have a sexual addiction, but I don't know you.
You should see a counsoler. It will help you better than listening to be who will put you down for behavior which you are incapable of controling.
It sounds like you don't want to stop. If you "want" to do something you do it. If the path you choose is to have many partners you should get out of the monogamous relationship with your husband. When you married him you promised him that you would be faithful to him, if that is not what you are looking for you should stop hiding what you are doing and leave the relationship. It will only get worse as time progresses. Since you love him he deserves to know the truth about your relationship. There must be a reason why you are looking outside of your marriage for fulfillment. If that's not something he can provide, he should know.
Personally I think you should seek marriage counseling and personal counseling. Its unhealthy to need the attention of 3 or more men to feel fulfilled. A personal counselor may be able to advise you as what you can change about yourself and your relationship. Counselors deal with situations like this all the time. Good ones are able to be very objective and advise without passing judgement. Remember you owe it to yourself, your family and your husband to let the truth out.
The things that are easiest never seem to the most rewarding. If you put effort into your relationship, hard work, discipline, and a good support group ie counseling, it will pay off even if the end result isn't the outcome you were hoping for.
Would you care if your husband cheated on you? Think about that if you would.
Will it bother you that once you are old and used up, no one will want to have sex with you or love you, and your husband will have divorced you years ago. If so, than think about that.
Will it bother you to get to the second half of your life and one day realize that there is no one else in the world who cares about, or loves you, because you've lived and selfish, self gratifying life. If that doesn't bother you, your a complete phsycopath and there's no help for you. If it does bother you, than use the same self control that the rest of us all have to learn to use.
No thing, or person is doing this to you, you are doing it to yourself, therefore you are the only one that can stop it. If you can stop yourself from murdering someone, you can stop yourself from having sex with someone. If you can do neither, you should commit yourself.
I feel what your doing is cruel and cold hearted to be doing this behind your huband's back. How would it make you feel if he was the one doing this behind your back. To be doing it with his brother is worse; imagine him doing with your sister.
On the other hand there is no way of how to stop, you either stop or you dont, or you leave him and spare him the pain and betrayal.
If your husband doesn't want to have s*x with you then it could be that he is worried about something or is stressed, working to hard etc. Why dont you ask him to see what the problem might be.
However if you like the idea of another man touching you besides your husband, why dont you try out some role play like pretend he's not your husband and get him to do whatever you want then return the favour. It might do some good to your relationship.
But remembe'what goes around comes around'.
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I have the same problem. I belive it starts with thinking my parents dont love me because they let me behid. It was hard growing up, and I develope thinking sex was the only thing people wanted from me including my husband. I have no self esteem. no will power. and it all feeds only when I get a man to desire me and sex just becomes so great. I know this is not good, but I can seem to fix it. I told him the truth, he gave a chance I lasted for 10 months without cheating. he is willing to give me one more chance I don't know if to take it. I know I want him in my life but I couldn't stop. I feel today like I can, but I;m scared to fall.
that's a pretty complicated situation here.i think these men provide you with a sense of security because they are outside your home and outside of your relationship.this is what appeals to you the most about ___ing these guys.i don't think it's how good the sex is it's the worry you don't have by keeping them around your house,like you do your husband.it's also possible that your husband isn't enticing you enough.making love is good but every now and then you gotta go crazy behind closed doors and hump like rabbits.do whatever you like with no shame or guilt.remember you're married so use that!
You can't stop cheating on your husband because your husband A )is not meeting your emotional or sexual needs B ) You have low self esteem. C ) Your not in love with your husband maybe ? . D ) Are you an attention seeker ? E )Only you know the answer The answer is within you . Only you can change your life if your unhappy. Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in their hands...It's a choice we make .Choose to be happy !! Good luck , peace , & love...
It sounds like you've worn out your husband. I really don't know what you can do to stop cheating if it's just having intercourse with other men you want but if it's a matter of ego or self esteem I can tell ou it's all vanity. Having s e x with other men might feed your ego but it's all in vain in the end. Self esteem has to come from within you and being faithful has much more esteem to it than being unfaithful.
You have a few options.
1. Just stop. You're in control of your actions, so you can stop anytime if you really want to.
2. Go to couples counseling. If you're seeking out other men because something is wrong with your relationship, you might be able to fix the problem.
3. Talk to your husband about it. If you just like having sex with other people, maybe you two could have an open relationship.
Make confession regularly and join a support group or else this habit is really too hard to break with your own will power alone.
You can afford even three men. How can you make a good family with that? You have to consider that everybody grows old and sex is great only when we are young. Don't let men look down on you. You have your child now. Don't let him/her hear any nasty things about you.
STOP! You are hurting him if he knows or not. STOP IMMEDIATLY. You have a problem either within yourself or with him. Slow down, talk to him and get to the root of the real problem. Your cheating is a cry for help. Once you identify the problem, work on fixing it. If it is unfixable, then make plans to leave. You are hurting him and yourself and it is not healthy.
When you make love to a man, but think of another, is it cheating? When you make love to another, but think of your man, is that a good sign? I think sex is best when your young, that when you get older, it gets more complicated, more emotional, and much more special between you and others. Until then, enjoy what your at now!!!
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If your habit is this you will not able to stop it, keep it in secret, and go to the church for confession. I knew some women who were the same as you are.