Im 17 and I've known my friend sam* since I was in year 7 (5 yearS) . we are really close and eversince the first time I had feelings for him in year 9, I dont think I've stopped having feelings for him since we always talk about sex and things liek that. we are both attracted to each other in that way. the thing is, I have a boyfriend for 2 years now, and his great, but I still have such strong feelings for sam. sam and I always talk and sex and all that, and one day we did it .. I was still with my bofriend though.
the bottom line is ; I have such strong feelings for sam, buh I dont think he sees me in that way, maybe im just a sex buddy to him, I dont know. I want to tell him how I feel buh I dont want to get rejected or make our friendship relationship akward.. also, I cant say anything rite now because im with my boyfriend.
I dont know what to do !!! ><
rockingrl1728..."if he had sex with you, I'm sure he likes you back." I DONT THINK SO> Guys can have sex without any emotional feelings! They dont have to like a girl to have sex with them. They were made totally different than women were. Definitely shows you are very young, and naive!
You had sex with him, because you wanted to do it with someone special? How about waiting until those feelings are returned before jumping in the sack. If/when you EVER choose to have sex, it should be with someone you love, trust, and have been in a LONG commited, mature relationship with, not because of some "feelings" you have, for someone you've known for a long time. This attraction you both have for one another is only physical. Talking mostly about sex with him, would have told me something right there! Sex is am act. It can happen with/without feelings involved.(usually just with guys) I think you are confusing sex and love here. They are NOT the same! Sex doesnt prove anything. It wont make a guy fall for you, or commit to you. A relationship wouldn't last long on emotions. Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust.
When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. (That is all there is between you, and your friend, and nothing more)!
The saddest part of all this is, you CHEATED on your boyfriend, and you aren't the least bit remorseful! All you talk about is "Sam" and sex! You seriously need to get your head out from between your legs, and see the real picture here, because you are SO hung up on someone other than your boyfriend, you have no idea what you are doing to him!. You are being VERY selfish in only thinking of yourself. You should do your boyfriend a huge favor, and just break up with him. How can you stay commited to someone for that long, and still hold strong feelings for some other guy that only wants you for sex? Thats all it is you know, and thats all it'll ever be. Sex is not the bases for any kind of relationship!!! Friendship or otherwise!
You need to be single, because you obviously are very confused about what you really want. Either you want to stay with your LOYAL, boyfriend of 2 years., or your sex buddy that will probably end before it ever gets started!
hMmmM.. maby, but I didnt say I love him and all . and hes not all about the sex. I see him more than that. we ve been good friends for a long time and hes one of the most trusted people to me.. and as for my boyfriend .. my feelings for this guy doesnt effect how I feel abt him.. and of course I would of felt guilty . thats why it is only one time..
and I guess I agree with you, maybe we would only see each other as playy mates and all... and I dont know how he feels about me because I havent told him how I felt.. BUT the thing is.. I know myself that I have feelings for him for other things besides all that sex stuff.. im always talkin to him about my problems and hes always willing to listen.. we go out as friends a lot .. so iknow myself.. that for me is isnt all about the sex ...
yehhs.. for me, its more than just sex. I did it with him because I wanted to do it with someone special soo .. I dont know if I should tell him.. well more like I wouldn't have the balls to tell him ( metaphorically speaking =] ) . we talk about sex and all that yes, but I trust him so much that I can tell him pretty much anything. everytime I had a problem and all , I've talked to him. in fact.. the feelings I have for him.. I've actually talked to him about it.. but I didnt say it was him, I just sed that I think I have feelings for my friend.. and obviously I couldnt tell him who it was.. and he really wanted to know.
Hi Girl, First ask yourself that your b/f would agree to make a 3some with your old friend. If I were your b/f my answer would be "yes, he is welcomed for common sex for few times". This would be the ideal solution of the problem. If this is not possible, I advice you to be open with your old friend and tell you that "we owed to each other to make sex few times and know each other from this side also, it is silly to bypass this possibility after many years deep friendship". And you can do it with him without the knowledge of your b/f. I encourage you to step in this respect. I find your feelings beautiful.
Maybe its not about sex with you, but no doubtedly it is with him. You dont think he knows how you feel about him? You had sex with him! That should tell him right there! I seriously think that if you want to remain with your boyfriend, you need to stay away from your "friend", since you cant seem to control your feelings. Think about how you would feel if your boyfriend had strong feelings for his girl (friend)! Its not a very good feeling!
Well, if he had sex with you, I'm sure he likes you back. You should think over which one you like more. If it takes a while, just take your time :-)