I cheated and need help

ok its been a year almost sinse I ended a bad relationship (long distance). I cheated 3 times in it for different reasons and still feel bad about it. the girls name was kendall. ok please hear my story before you comment. the first time I did it it was with a girl about 2-3 years younger than me. it just sorta happened… 3 or 4 times. I messed around in her pants and made out some. I was probably around 13-14 when I did this. I never told her about this. the next time was by accident really. she told me that we should see other people to see if that would work better. she went with a guy named cody. it was about a month and I decided to go out with a girl named eveline. about a week after dating her I get a txt from kendall asking “wuts up?” you know the basics. she then sais she loves me and acts lke we were still going out. it turns out that cody never existed. then she asked about the girl in my myspace pix. eveline. I tell her she is a friend and that was pretty much it. I brake up with eveline like less then 2 days afterwards. then about a year ago I send kendall a msg on myspace telling her that I found someone new. and about 3 days after that I start going out with melissa (my current girlfriend) and everything is all fine, that is ofcourse until I get txt from kendall again asking whats up and acting the part of the girlfriend. I ask her if she has checked her myspace. she sais no. I then realize that I have been cheating on both girls for about a month. I dont tell kendall that I cheated and I explain it to melissa. I dont tell kendall though because she was going to commit suicide over me. it has almost been a year since I started going out with melissa and I want to tell kendall all this but I don’t know how to. idw to tell her where she can talk to me repeatedly such as over the phone. I still feel bad about all of it. is this what I deserve? should I still have these feelings of sorrow and regret this long afterwards? how should I try and talk to her? should I try and talk to her? what do yall think of me and this situation? please give me the truth. idc if it is mean. I do deserve it.

I know I posted this before but I need answers