Home More advice Parents & Family
I'm 18 years old (Legal adult) And my parents are causing me a lot of stress living here. I am ready to move out, but I don't know how to tell them. My mom doesn't care that I am 18, and wont let me grow up and be an adult. And refuses to take me to get my license, or even state ID. She also ignores me whenever I ask her something.
First do not move far away wit this guy friend. Not sure I like that to much. Get a job as soon as possible and save almost everything you can. It takes a lot to move out and you need to know if the salary you get is enought to cover all expenses.. not just rent.. food transporation.. money for emergencies etc... I understand where you are coming from . I am 24 and I cant move out yet. cause although I have a job I cant afford ny high rent. I will try and move out as soon as I pay off my loan and get anotehr raise at my job. Until then im stuck. For now .. stay busy and away from your parents by working your butt off and saving .. your young.. so you have an advantage. I wish I whould have started saving money so early. Trust me do it this way.. slowely but surely and when you finally move otu then you will be ready. I know you dont want t hear it but give yourself at least till your 21 to move out.. You will get more mature and it will help you out. Research moving out and al lthat it involves. Budget all your money and start paying your parents something when you get your paycheck since thats what your going to do when you move out but it will be even more money.. try to buy things on your own and dont depend on them for anything if you can help it. I know you want to leave right now but maybe its nto the right time. When I was 18 I wanted to leave so bad but I ended up not even getting accpeted into the school I wanted and I think it was for the best. My mindset was diff then than it is now.. Stay local so if you do move out and it doesnt work out you can move back in. what ever you do dont go far . Take care and good luck
Looks to me you are not as mature as you think you are. You see grass is greener on the other side. At this time you are setting yourself up to be more miserable than you are now. You are letting your emotions dictate your actions. You need to prepare yourself and find a job locally and work there and stay at home and start a nest egg then buy a car and then after about another year or so think about finding a place of your own. Need to take it slow. Looks to me you are hanging around the house. Need to get out and work hard and then your mother will appreciate you more and you will be proud of yourself.
Another option that will change everything in a big hurry is to talk of a military recruiter and join up and serve your country and acquiring job skills that suit the skills you already possess.
If you have any questions regarding military I can give you more info or check the yellow pages and talk to someone. There is no obligation to join but you can talk to see what you would be good at as far as what job skills are available for you in the military.
I am a retired Army guy who was 18 years old myself with no direction in life.
whatever you do, stay home as long as you can. I went to rehab when I turned 18 and when I came home my parents kicked me out because they didnt want to risk me relapsing around my sisters, so I moved in with my boyfriend. it was all fun at first but in the long run its the hardest thing I ever had to do. its not fun for more than a month tops, especially living with a guy. you dont realize how expensive it is to live untill you have to do it on your own. when you think about it your like all I need is food. nope. soap shampoo toothpaste conditioner make up the list goes on. in the end, they finally let me come home 5 months later and that weekend I found out I was 2 months pregnant. believe me what ever you say it will not happen to you, WILL. I've learned that the hard way a million times over. and if you have to take a plane there, you will be really far from your parents. I was only 2 miles away and I still missed them every day.
Well lolabunny, as long as you're careful and you know this guy well, then it sounds like an alright deal. Make sure you have a backup plan to fall into in terms of job/money and accommodation, this is very important.
If your Mom doesn't like it, she doesn't really have any say at all because you are an adult now. Since she is overprotecting you, she could be really worried about you too. She does love you. Recognize that, and tell her that you will keep in touch with her often, and do it. It doesn't have to be every day, once a week will do. Do it for her peace of mind. I'm sure you love her very much too in spite of her overprotecting.
You are a young adult, still inexperienced with life, so it's ok to fall back to your parents for advice or anything, even when you are older, because parents are parents and they will always love you.
Reply to mysterywolf:
If the job doesn't work out, I will move back home temporarily. I am the only female, with 3 older brothers. And my mother refuses to take me to get even a State ID. when I could just get my permit ( I keep failing, Yes I study.)
Right now all of this stress is taking a physical toll on me, I have stress cramps/knots all over my shoulders neck and back :/
I have never disobeyed my parents, I've always been mature about every situation, And have never given my parents a reason to doubt me, or not trust me. So I don't understand why my mother wont let me move out.
You don't have to work in the military etc, ok. But dlyblood's first point is good advice. Start small first, find a job locally but stay with your mom. When you have saved enough money, rent somewhere. Then get a car if needed. You can save money until you can move out another area/state to get a better job. Or if you're in a job with good career-building prospects, you can work until you get promoted and/or get sent to another area/state to work in under the same company. You have quite a few options, really.
Reply to inuyashasng:
Well, my friend who moved to Iowa, could hook me up with a job, and I could live with him. I do act quite mature for my age. But my parents just dont see it. And he is willing to pay for my plane ticket to get there. Yet my mom, doesn't want me living with a guy at all. ugh. Its not like I'm going to sleep around and get knocked up.
Oh please no, my cousin already tried talking me into joining the army for skills and stuff. The job I would have there, would help me advance in Graphic designs.
And honestly. the way my parents are acting is driving me insane.
I think you should just tell them the truth. You should tell them why you want to move out and that your old enough to. If you consider yourself an adult then you have to act like one and confront your parents like one.
Check the air force then.or find a job with long hours and you won't be around them all the time. Read what else I wrote. You have better options than going to Iowa.
I don't do drugs, or drink really. I don't even miss my parents when I'm at my friends for a week, which is like a hour away from my parents house.
tell them, "I am a legal adult now, I dont have to listen to you guys anymore. im ready to move out." then go pack your bags and gtfo of there
well do you have a job to support yourself? you can simply walk up to them and say im 1\8 and I decided that I want to move out.
tell themn that you need to get your life together and say it how it is...
I don't want a job that has to do with military/army/air force at all.
