How to know my daughter's boyfriend?

Get to know him as a person who is meeting a girl’s parents. I am sure you never acted a little better around parents than away from them. If you like him or not isn’t the thing.

If she is making a bad mistake or not isn’t a problem.

There is little you can do about either. Just be nice and try not to judge.

She is an adult and a teen so she is going to do what she wants whether you like it or not.

The key is not to alienate her or them.

If it doesn’t work, she is going to need supportive non judgmental parents.

If it works, then you haven’t paved the relationship with harshness or misjudgements.

Good luck! Oh, and by the way, we are in the same situation.

Thank you so much guys for answering. hope others share their ideas in their nutshell right there. my daughter is 18 and her boyfriend is 21.

before he actually became my daughter’s gilfriend, I have been seeing him around @ night hangin with his bandmates. yes he is in a band. same as my daughteer as well. its just that I think my daughter’s band looks more elite. or im being misjudgy. look guys, im not a rude father. I just need your opinions. so please advice more.lol thanks thanks

how old is her boyfriend??

Actually, if you see him around at night, there’s your answer. You’re one of the luckier dads, because you’re seeing what he’s truely like. Is he out with other girls? I guess not, since you didn’t mention that.

At his age, if he’s never out with other girls, he’s probably a pretty good guy. Also, watch for signs that he’s not calling your daughter any names or yelling at her. Make sure she’s still doing things with friends, and doesn’t mention that her boyfriend is keeping her from her friends. If she mentions they double date with friends, both hers and his, that’s a very good sign also, that he likes her friends and that he treats her well around his friends.

Good luck to you.

Get to know her boyfriend as a person. Try not to interview him like you’re screening him as future son-in-law, it will freak him out, as well as your daughter. He is introducing himself as your daughter’s boyfriend, not asking your permission to marry her - so leave serious questions like “Will you be able to financially support my daughter in the future” out of it. You’re going way ahead of yourself. He is just right now your daughter’s best friend.

It’s your first meeting with him, so you should just go easy on him first and get to know him and his interests. I’m guessing that he’s in her college too, so you can ask what course he is studying, how he is liking it, and what got him to study a course like that. You can ask him how many more years he has to study.

If he doesn’t study, and works (or both), you can ask him about his job too (e.g. job responsibilities, how many days in a week that he works, etc). You can ask if he is paid well, but please don’t go into specifics, it will make him uncomfortable as if you are scrutinizing his ability to make money.

He will start to open up a bit, and your daughter will also help him answer some of your questions, and possibly also let you know some of the things he likes. For example, “You know Daddy, John likes fishing too, maybe you guys should go on a trip sometime”. Don’t count on a trip happening soon, but at least you’re getting to know her boyfriend.

Please don’t “interview” him, try to make it dinner conversation. Joke with him and help him feel at ease - he’s trying to impress his girlfriend’s parents and he’s worried about what he looks like, if he’s being polite enough, if his table manners are alright, and all sorts of other things going through his head.