How to deal with my friends hanging out with someone who raped me

When I was in grade.2 I got raped at my moms friends house. At the time I didn’t have a clue what it was so I didn’t tell anyone. Still to this day, nobody knows except a very close friend. This question isn’t about the day I got raped though…

The guy that raped me is only like 3 years older then me and some of my friends have recently started talking to him. He has a big family so he knows a lot of his brothers friends, thats how he knows my friends.

I’m having a really hard time accepting my friends talking to someone who raped me. I don’t blame them obviously, because they don’t know. I haven’t seen him since I was little, and I don’t want to.

What can I do to accept the fact that my friends are hanging out with someone that raped me?

Answer #1

I second what sue90 said. Sexual abuse is something that WILL affect you on many many levels until you deal with it. (and even then, it’s not something you can erase.) What he did was illegal and very very wrong. It was NOT your fault. You were a little girl and you were afraid. Silence is his best weapon. He could be doing it to another little girl now, if not tell for yourself - tell to prevent it from happening to someone else. Be the voice for those who cannot speak.

You’re right to feel uncomfortable with your friends hanging out with such a person, for their own safety.

Please tell a trusted adult and go to the police. Childhood Sexual Abuse is illegal and very serious. Don’t let him get away with something so wrong that he did to you. The state will help you prosecute him. And please seek counseling.

If you need help with any of it, finding resources or just want to talk please feel free to contact me.

I know you are running through a gambit of feelings. Know that you don’t have to go through it alone.

xox Sika

Answer #2

hmmm woah… first off I can’t understand or even stand people who do this its just completely wrong… but how to deal with your friends something like that honestly I wouldn’t expect anybody to accept it I would have to say let them know what happened , because they can’t understand what they don’t know. right? Also like turneyy0 said I would want to know if I was becoming friends with one.

On the other hand if you will feel embarrased by it you can always just in the deepest way explain to them he is a bad person and has done things in the past that were immorally wrong and they might be endangering themselves. (just don’t say what). And let them take it or leave it if they were true friends they should have some trust in your judgements.

Or well you can’t accept it honestly don’t feel bad or down because they are just get the point across some how with or without telling them depending on how imbarrassed you might feel! but get your point across, because I wouldn’t want to see that person ever again either not without some sort of weapon alone…

But what ever you do they will believe you and trust you, they are your friends! Sorry if I couldn’t help much more, did the best I could…


Answer #3

tell your friends how you feel. I know how you feel about getting raped that happend 2 me when I was 6 years old. and it still effects me!!

Answer #4

I don’t care what anyone says you should killem tats what I did 2 th fellas who raped my 14yr old sis . by after all that I 4gav them because I found god and he healed my pain. I say a prayer 4 you alrit

Answer #5

maybe you should tell them how you feel. and how he raped you because like I would like to know if I was becoming friends with a rapist.. ya know..

Answer #6

You should tell your parents and work up the courage to tell your friends your parents wont be angry with you they’ll be angry with the man that did it to you if your friends dont take it seriously then there not really your friends.. hope it works out best of luck xoxoxox

Answer #7

Wow, thats a tough subject! I dont think you should let your friends around him. What if he hasent changed? That friendship may be putting them in danger. And as for him, turn him in! Thats a horrible crime that should NOT go unpunished. What he did may affect you for years to come, and so far hes fine! Get him put in jail! Im sorry for what happened to you, and I hope things work out great :]. Funmail me on any update on this sintuation? I would love to hear and help out some more!

Answer #8

Dear stephanief987, first of all you need to tell your parents about what happened. You need to get into counselling now or you will forever have problems. This guy thinks he got away with it…how many other did he do this to? How many other will he do it to. It is your responsibility to make sure he doesn’t do it again as well as getting yourself some help. As you get older this will interfere with your relationships and with all aspects of your life. Why put yourself through that? Time to be mature about this and take action. Sue…good luck

Answer #9

Well, forgiveness would be a start.:)

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