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HOW CAN I GET MY BOYFRIEND TO LISTEN TO HOW I FEEL ABOUT HOW HE IS TO ME SOMETIMES I THINK HE TREATS ME UNFAIRLY AND EVERY TIME I TRY TO TELL HIM HE SAYS IM STUPID OR HE DOESNT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING DUMB LIKE THAT BUT IT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS I've TRIED YELLING FIGHTING TALKING NICELY ASKING HIM IF WE CAN TALK BUT IT NEVER SEEMS LIKE HE WANTS TO HEAR IT AND HE SAYS HE IS TIRED OF ME TELLING HIM THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN because IT IS BUT I TRY TO TELL HIM IF HE WOULD HEAR ME OUT AND TRY TO COMPROMISE WITH ME BUT HE SAYS IM STUPID AND HE IS BUT REALLY IM THE ONE WHO IS TRYING TO GET OVER IT AND I HAVE GOTOVER A FEW THINGS BUT SOMETHINGS HE JUST DOESNT WANT TO CHANGE LIKE I HAVE HE SAYS HE WILL CHANGE AFTER I STOP NAGGING BUT HOW CAN I STOP NAGGING IF HE DOESNT COMPROMISE
Communicating is one of the most important things a couple can do together to keep their relationship strong and full of vitality. In fact, without communication there is no intimacy in a relationship. Intimacy -- -- cannot exist without both partners revealing themselves through communication. Without communication, the relationship consists of guessing, interpreting, wondering, hurt feelings.
Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.
Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Define what is important and stress it. Avoid fault-finding. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person.
Wow now I know im not the only one going threw this my fiance is the same way. Im 23 going on 24 and we've been together for going on 7 years next month we have a baby and silly ol me thought that by having a baby it would change us unfortunately I was wrong. I always try and talk to him to let him know how I feel and it seems like it goes threw one ear and out the other. Im just not sure what to do anymore I love him with all my heart but if leaving him is what I need to do then I guess thats whats going to happen. He used to listen to me but now all I get is " shut up.. Your stupid.. " or he will just start cussing at me someone have any advice for me ?
Dear guera21, The old adage is women marry men to change them, men marry women hoping they stay just they way they are. Unfortunately either is possible. So knowing that you can't change him, knowing that you are unable to communicate with him, knowing he is calling you names that's abuse...perhaps you need to know that this relationship isn't working it's time to get counselling or to move on. Your style of communication is not working, his style of communication is abusive. Proper communication is the key and until either of you know what that is you are going to just go around in circles. Sue...good luck
I just found this post and I am going through the same thing word for word. I am so lost as to what I am suppose to do. I love him more than anything in the world and the things I feel most important to talk about he shuts me out and tells me to stop or he will stop me himself. I dont know why he is acting this way. he has never done this until recently. we always have the best time together but when I want to talk he gets very angry and he always ends in a fight. I am always the one to blame. I cant take it anymore. I am on the verge of a breakdown. please tell me what you did to solve this. - courtney
