How do I stop caring about my -current- boyfriend?

The problem is that I’ve been dating him for a year+, and at the beginning I was a very needy girl but since Janurary 2nd I stopped caring with us and if we broke up. I even tried to dump him myself, but it didn’t really go well. My cat, who I loved dearly, died a few days ago and I’ve found myself getting back to what I was before. He said it’s ok that I’m needy right now, because that’s what I need, but I’m also REALLY jealous now which he can’t stand. He always told me that he didn’t look at other girls “that way” and then in January I caught him looking at porn. Ever since I can’t help but think/know (he’s telling me he’s like this) that he’s always starring at other girls and he loves the female body.

When I don’t care about him the relationship just goes better and I’m not jealous, so how do I get myself to stop caring?

Answer #1

You are there because he loves you. He obviously cares deeply about you and I am sorry him looking bothers you, but he has eyes and it is only natural to look. He may not even be admiring them, but just can’t help looking around. Remind yourself that even though he looks, he always comes back to you. He obviously thinks nothing compares to what you two have, but it is healthy for him to have a look at others to confirm he has the best, if that makes sense?

Why not try and involve yourself? Point a girl you like the look of out- say you really like her legs etc. and show you are happy him looking in a sense. You will feel less threatened if you just join in a little and realise that other people may have some beautiful features, and you can both admire them together (you can’t say you never look at another woman/ man and think something on them is attractive). It is the fact he thinks you are the full package that he wants that is important; just try and cut him a little slack and explain why you feel the way you do, so he can reassure you that you are all he wants.

Answer #2

Just because he looks at porn doesnt mean he doesnt care about you. Porn is sometimes used as an outlet of stress pent up feelings. I don’t know if you guys are having sex, but he cud of simply been horny and knew you wudnt be down for anything. He will never be with one of those girls he sees on the computer. It becomes a concern when he tries to act out on those urges and purses the real life thing. All in all, im a guy and I think you have it good. He cares about you since he’s consoling in your time of need, he only looking at porn and not doin an actual other girl. Other girls would love to have your guy friend because he doesnt openly admire other girls and pursue them, he just looks on the computer as a fantasy and keeps it under control. If it really bothers u, if you ever catch him looking at porn just remind him of the real thing he has and rock his world, lol!

Answer #3

thanks guys for all the answers :)

I know I’m lucky I have the guy I do, and that I could be so much worse off! I just get so jealous sometimes, which I shouldn’t! I’ve been a lot better today, and hopefully he’ll start noticing my efforts and be happier and happier with the relationship every day :) and, lolove14, thanks for the idea! it kind of gave me a good idea for valentines day, actually!

Answer #4

Well he won’t be looking at porn anymore, and I know that for a fact. It’s just still bothersome that I know he’ll be looking at other girls all the time in that way. I mean, what am I here for if I’m not enough for him anyway?

Answer #5

your not ganna stop caring all guys are ganna be looking at other girls and your ganna get jelouse just try to find somtin tat works for both of you if he wants to look at porn have him look at porn of you to keep him satisfied

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