How do I handle my dads girlfriend?

so I’ve been living with my dad and his girlfriend(her children as well) for about 3 years now and its starting to go down hill the longer theyve been around. My dad does not parent his girlfriends children, but she feels like she can parent me. I have over and over explained that she is not my mother and that if something needs to be done, my dad needs to parent me. but then she gets mad at me and throws a tantrum.. also things are not equal in the household. Her children always get the better advantage…and its not like there perfect little angels. She also minipulates my dad and I feel like its destroying my relationship with my father…how do I handle this situation??

Answer #1

Get out of that house as soon as you are 18 or try to get them to pay for college out of town. That way you don’t have to have it in youtr face. Until then there are a few things you can do. First, who pays for everything? If she doesn’t work then she is nothing more than another dependent child of your father’s. If that is the case then treat her as such. You also need to find out how your father’s will is set up in regards to provding for you. Is he giving your inheritence to your step sisters? Can you go live with your mom? You may want to after you find out.

Answer #2

The other answers here have been very unfair in telling you to just deal with it! Firstly, the person above me needs to deal with learning how to spell before telling other people how to solve their problems!

Anyway, you do not have to put up with any injustice. Sadly, such injustice exists but everything is solvable based on perception. What you need is a way to connect with your father without her and her stupid kids. Or else, what you need to do is play the occasional trick on her. You wont probably get rid of her but you can make yourself feel better at her expense. After all as you are just a kid, for her to get into arguments with you just looks really petty and bad on her part and represents a lack of control. So just keep her out of your control and it will drive her nuts whilst giving you more freedom. If you just dont listen to her there is nothing she can do to make you listen but it will also drive her crazy!

Answer #3

frist off your a kid and you dont get the chioce on who parents you . a step mom has right as any step parent and your livng in HER house . she an adult like any other adult you have to repsect .eccpet shes a part ov your faimly and is help feeding you and ect.. she desreves respect from you not orders from you get over that couse you cant change that . as far as her other kids , sounds like your jelous why when you say you hate her so much mabye your blowing things outa porportion . thiers no room for love in your heart when theirs jelousy . if you feel its not equal then tell your steppMOM and your dad how you feel thats the only way that can change but dont be selfish their are other kids who are just as important as you .keep that in mind. your fathers girlfriend wife ect.. and your dad is your faimly rather you have your bio mom or not so if you keep on like this YOU wont be happy with your life even after you move out and if you got issues still cant find a way to deal then get a counsler becouse its not normal to hate a person so much enless she very abusive to you . you may have unresolved issues that sint your steppmoms foult and its not fair to mistreat people like that I wish you luck hope you can find iner peace.

Answer #4

One thing you need to understand first and foremost - you are living in their house, and regardless of the fact that your father has chosen not to parent her children, does not mean that your step-mother (that’s what she is) does not have any right to parent you. She is a guardian to you and is legally bound to look out for your well-being.

As for fairness - forget about it, it will never happen. You can’t go through life being bitter and envious because her children are treated better than you are - it’s moot (having 2 step-sisters myself, I know all too well).

The best thing you can do is to give up your expectations and what you think should be going on in that house and just deal with it until you’re old enough to start deciding for yourself. Sure, things in the house are unfair and it’s making you angry - that’s life, suck it up and be grateful you don’t have to endure worse.

Answer #5

That’s a tough one,have an alone talk with her tell her that there is only one parent in the house that can parent and if she can’t deal with it,tough luck for her,she has to deal with what YOU want. As for her children,simply barge in every time you see them getting something you don’t have and if their mom says back off or even them,tell them,it’s your house to and you deserve a part of it,if they go to their mom,tell her the same thing and the same goes for your dad.

Answer #6

well if I were you I would get you dad and tell him about what is happining and then talk to his girlfriend and if she doesn’t listen then to you then don’t listen to her

Answer #7

You need to talk to your dad about how you feel. Regardless of whether your father’s girlfriend is your birth mother, she is an adult and you are to respect her. She will probably respect you back.

I am in a similiar situation and it helps me to think “Hey, in just a year or two I can move out!”

Answer #8

You need to talk to your dad and tell him all about it. Maybe try to respect your dad’s girlfriend more? :) If she parents you well, why not just accept it?

More Like This
Advisor

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

2 Dads with Baggage

Family Travel, LGBT Travel, Parenting Blog

Advisor

2 Dads with Baggage

LGBT family travel blog, Parenting blog, Travel blog

Advisor

advocateinlahore.com

Family Law, Legal Services, Islamic Law

Advisor

Iafrate & Salassa, P.C.

Family Law Attorneys, Divorce Lawyers, Legal Services

Advisor

Hirsch Legal, LLC

Family Law, Legal Services, Divorce Law