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How can I relax during sex, I cant stay wet?

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me and my guy started having sex a few weeks ago, the thing is I cant seem to stay wet and after 15 minutes of intercourse I get pretty sore. When hes not around I get turned on just thinking about the way he touches me, and when we cuddle my pussy gets really wet, but when he starts to go down on me, I shut off. it feels amazing I love when he touches me, but I cant orgasm, and the sex is painful because I cant get into it. He's very patient and talks about how he wants to pleasure me and we've been looking online for days, ok ill definitely purchase some ky, but how can I relax? he'll kiss me head to toe but I find that makes it worse, I shut down when I realize he's trying to get me going. should I meditate on something in my spare time?