How can I get a better writing style?

read a lot, and put lots of time into whatever you plan to write. for me, when I’m really into my story, it just kind of…flows out of me. I don’t have to like think about it or anything. if that happens to you, you’re doing well.

The style of writing you illustrated paints a mental picture. A picture is painted one stroke at a time. I suggest that you write down your original sentence as a guide for what you want to say. Then, using another sentence, elaborate on it by including the colorful details you find pleasing. In time you will see that it takes a calm focused mind and lots of practice. Enroll in some writing or public speaking classes. You will find that they help develop your thought process in that direction. When I write, I often include more commas and semi-colons than may considered appropriate; because I want the reader to pause an instant, between my brush strokes, to give their minds the time to grasp the whole concept of my statement. I hope this helped.

I don’t know if this is good advice but I’ll try my best to explain what I’m trying to say

Okay, When I write stories, I picture everything that is happening, just like a movie. I like to give my character real personalities of somebody else. I put myself in the character’s perspective and I pretend everything I write, is happening to me. That way, I could express and FEEL the emotions of the character as he/she goes through events.

I don’t know if I’m making a lot of sense,

   xoxo
    ErRorinlife

By reading books, and taking bits and pieces of their style and then mixing it all together and making it your style is one way.