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How can I be sure not to flirt?

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I've been talking to a friends boyfriend over email because he has barely any texting and no long distance calls. He lives in a diff state. I wanna make sure he doesnt break up with her because of me. He asked me what I like in a guy and I asked why and he said we never know whats gonna happen in the future. So I dont wanna flirt but I still wanna talk to him...HOW?