Do I have any right to be questioning the trust?

I guess this is a bit of a perosnal problem, but me and my boyfriend of a year got into a huge fight last night about him going out with his friends…

I’m 21 and he’s 29. Early on in our relationship I’ve caught him talking to his ex girlfriends and going behind my back texting them things he shouldn’t have been and such. He says he’s never followed through with anything… although in past relationships he has.

He’s also kept something from me 8 months into our relationship. He has an STD, that I now have.It’s nothing serious but before he came out and told me, I specifically asked him if he has been tested, and he told me he had and had nothing. He lied. I now have to fork out 100 dollars a month (that’s with insurance) for a disease I never asked for and will have for the rest of my life. He’s apoligized over and over, and he was afraid if I knew he had it, that I’d never want to date him. It’s hard to say now what I would have done if he told me before we slept together, but maybe I wouldn’t have kept dating him and fell in love with him, so I dont know how to take that.

I have been lied to and cheated on in the past, but he is my first real relationship. I’m still young and growing and am not experieced in the relationship scene. Sometiems I feel that he is lying to me, because he has made me question my trust for him.

I want to trust him and I dont’ want to jealous. I just dont know how!

Last night he was going to go out with his new work buddies, but I somehow convinced myself he was lying and going someplace else. So it turned into a huge fight and I made him so mad, he didn’t go out. I feel like a total idiot now, a day later, and I know I took it way overboard.

Is this because I’m inexperienced in relationships? Do I have any right to be questioning the trust or am I totally wrong? I feel like a crazy person but I know I’m not. I just can’t stop thinking about the past. I know he loves me and cares about me. I know I’m a beautiful girl and have a lot to offer. Am I just still too young and immature to understand some things?

Please help with any of this. I’m just trying to take the day and think about it, I just don’t know how to fix any of my flaws!