Home More advice Parents & Family
I'm really confused and feel alone for a number of reasons...can you help me? first, my life at home sucks. my mother beats me sometimes (but never leaving a scar or welt..it doesnt' hurt physically, (I take martial arts. I'm used to it.)but it makes me feel so blue..she's supposed to be the one behind me, protecting me..and she is the one I feel I need to be protected from. she gets mad over nothing, and she's always screaming at me. I don't feel safe. she is always at the brink of hitting me, but I think she realized that I'm not taking it anymore after I kicked her back. I still feel unsafe, everywhere in my house. as I'm writing this I'm so afraid she'll come in and find me... there isn't anyone I can turn to...my father just stands by and pretends he doesn't notice...my sister is only ten...my extended family has all heard our fights when we visit (if they could hear over their own) and they don't care. there really isn't much help I can get from the police. the beatings arent the problem. I just feel so alone, so hopeless. my friends are meaningless. I put on a normal face at school to avoid attention, and that's the face my friends know. no one knows about this. I don't know where to turn. I feel down a lot. I kept looking for relief through other methods besides self destructive impulses...I did intense exercise, punched things, destroyed things, went running, listened to music..nothing helped. I wanted to die, but I kept clinging to superficial things to make me choose living...I'm running out of things to hold me, and today I cut myself, there was nothing else that helped...I need guidance..please?
Welcome to Fun Advice!
You are at an age where hormones, emotions and even your brain are undergoing strong changes. It is natural to occasionally feel confused or depressed.
The best thing you can do is to talk to a counselor or therapist. Barring that, find someone you can communicate your emotions and thoughts with, sort of like a sounding board. Keeping your thoughts to yourself doesn't help. If you can't find someone around you then consider Fun Mailing someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like. It's relatively private and gives you a good sounding board.
Check out the link below for information on teen depression.
Information on teen depression:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depressionteenteenagers.htm
If you are having problems or are depressed, below are a couple of sites that may help you:
Worldwide:
Check out the Befrienders link below. They are not only a suicide hotline but also offer help to people who are stressed or are in a state of depression.
http://www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp
In the U.S.A., you also have access to:
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
Call With Any Problem, Any Time
1-800-448-3000
http://www.girlsandboystown.org/hotline/index.asp
Fun Mail a "sounding board"!
I would assume that you can't talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don't want others to know about it in relation to you.
The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone's advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a "sounding board" and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn't have any concerns about your privacy.
Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I'd suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don't contact them by that "Ask me a question" link. That's public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the "Send me Fun Mail" link on the left side of the page.)
You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the "Send me Fun Mail" link near the top of the Answer under the person's name.
I'm so sorry and my heart really goes out to you, especially being someone who understands your situation as I have been in it many times in varius places.
You need to stay strong and believe in yourself. I know you believe in yourself because you have tried so many things to get better which is a million more steps than most people take whether they face what you face everyday or not.
Cutting yourself may seem like good short term relief but it does nothing for you long term.
Hold onto your heart. Know that there are so many people who want you to feel better, even if we are only connected through the internet.
I have found that the act of telling is very healing. Tell someone in person whether it is a teacher, advisor, friend, etc. I would advise not telling a family member because they might feel obligated to protect your mom and be "on her side".
I always found comfort in reading other people's testimonies in writing or on the internet about things like this and how they got through it. Know that you are not alone, you poor thing.
It's your mom's problem that she...has problems. Don't take it personally and try not to feel rejected from it. You are not any problem!
You deserve the best. You deserve protection, love, compassion, peace and respect from all people and especially your own mother.
Write down all your feelings and thoughts even if they are about killing your mom, killing yourself, how horrible you feel, etc. This can be cleansing because it takes out your feelings and places them away in a notebook where they can be safe.
I am crying for you and sending my positive thoughts to you. I wish the world to be kind to you. You deserve goodness.
Peace :)
hey girl there a lot of girls out there who have the same problem and I'm here for you you don't have to be scared Jesus is always with you and he loves you and is always whatching over you. some times it my not feel like it but he is there. when ever you feel sad or alone and that no one loves you he is always there to pick you up. so don't worry about these thing that happen here on earth . And you can know that for sure that your going to heaven if you have excepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. If you need any help funmail me. and just remember that your never alone.
find something that makes you happy. sometimes, people get placed into situations so they can learn how to guide themselves out of it. don't let your mother hit you, never raise a hand at her, but let her know you won't stand for it. make sure she understands that what she is doing is terribly wrong.. you need a friend, sweetie, and you can make tons of them here. maybe someone to listen to you, or just to make you smile.
find a friend and you will find happiness.
Do not EVER hurt your self again. you are strong and someday somebody is really going to need you so take care of yourself the best you can so you can be better and do better than was done for you. and give your heart a hug from me
hahaha thank you..I'm really touched. oh and sorry, I'm not religious, but I am still really moved by both of your compassionate answers...thank you. I use the three dots thingy too much. I sound all wispy.
excellent answer ethmer! I would 100% calling one of those numbers! I have know people who have lives have changed for the best because of one telephone call! Do not wait, do it now!
Lots of info here: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depressionteenteenagers.htm
