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I am 20 years old & I was raped when I was 8 years old, when I was 9 my father passed away, when I was 11 my mother passed away, lived with family that treated me badly & when I was 16 my boyfriend forced himself on me. I have kept all of this to myself for too long. I really want to the guy I’m dating now about all my history but I don’t know how to tell him or if I should. I need emotional support, I’m not over all of the things that happened to me, sometimes I cramp it all inside that I find myself crying over little things. I want my boyfriend to know the real me.
Right.. well i am sorry to hear the way you have grown up, i have had similar situations and worst, but never lost my parents. You are going through so much pain because it is all bottled up, i used to be like you but i am with a person who loves me for who i am now. And i told him everything thats happened to me, i didnt go into detail though. Its graphic enough.
You are with a boyfriend but still bottled up, and i expect that just kills you. Tell your boyfriend one evening when your sat down together in the quiet, tell him you have something important to tell you and its taking all your courage to do so. He will either be worried or curious if he loves you.
Next step is to take a deep breath and tell him what happened from the start, or show him this page you have sent on the web. Let him read it. Don't spill it out all in one. It will get too confusing. Your allowed to cry, there is nothing wrong with that, and maybe suggest to him that you are thinking of counselling or rapetrauma services. He might offer to go with you. Thing is, you want a new start with him and probably a nice long future. If you don't tell him, its gonna be on your conscience forever. You have to leak out every so often but to someone you can trust. If he loves you, he will try to understand although he may never will because he is a bloke. And he will be there for you. If he walks away... you know how much he was worth..
Dear baby_lu, You do need emtional support and knowing that is a big step in the right direction. What has happened to you is not your fault but how you deal with it is your responsibility. You have a new boyfriend and perhaps a new beginning as well. Set up an appointment to see a counsellor ASAP. Call your health clinic or consult with your doctor about finding one. I would not reveal your history just yet to your new fellow. Keep your relationship on a very casual and keep it very light. You are in no position to get involved with someone yet. If he pressures you into moving too fast he isn't the one for you anyways...But you need to look after number one (you) before you can involve another in your life. Sue...good luck
i think maybe you should speak with a psychiatrist or a counselor first. Then ask the person that gives you insight on this to help you explain things to your boyfriend. Does he seem like the type that really cares, and you can trust him with your past? Most guys are mean and use things like that to their advantage. I know- been there, done that. Just be very careful--- it could harm you more than help you
