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It's been 3 months exactly since be and my ex broke up..when I talk about him I stil call him my boyfriend and not my ex...when I think of something it always leads back to him. Regardless. Everything that I do..everytime I see him I geta strong rush inside me that makes me want to cry. I've gotten so hurt..I let him take over me...and I've fallen for the guy I loved for the past 3 years. Everything wasn't perfect but I always saw us together..longer then the 2 years and half that we stayed with each other. But he's going to college..he claimed to have fgallen out of love with me..and I swear nothing in the world hurt more then that. Atleast thats what I thought..until he pronounced how much he loves another girl. I cant say im jealous..because it's not a feeling of bitterness..but of hurt..and yearning. I dream about it at night..I see him and her..how he would kiss her. The way he use to kiss me. And I think how the only reason I loved him was because he was different..from everyone..I don't know I dont like normal guys...there was something about him that always told me he would never leave me. And he said just that..that he would never leave me. Sounds stupid to believe something like that...but we were madly in love..and he ruined that. Sometimes I think there was something wrong with me. And I've known that I have changed a little over the years..but I don't know into what..so I could go back. So I could get him back. My bestfriend..love..the guy I wanted to marry. All I have is memories now..and the sight of seeing him die for the love of another girl when up untiil now...more then ever I would like to show him what love really is. But no..he wants her...and it breaks me more then I was . My third heartbreak..yet he was the only one who fixed the previous ones...that were forgotten but now...he broke it more then it was..and I feel like it's beyond repair. People say I'll get over it..but really you guys..you never get over your first true love. I mean I know it was true ove..like shakespere says it's only true love if it never dies. And I know I trully love him. Im waiting for someone else..to love more then him..and I know w I have the rest of my life to find him..but yet I need to mend thi sheart I need someone to hold the place where my ex stood and well...atleast help me forget about him cause I think about him ALL the time (and thats not being dramatic) I see my ex all the time..well everynow and then...but he's leaving on Aug 20th..after that who knows if I will see him. But deep in my heart..I pray to god that he permits that one day day we'll meet again. But until then..how do I runaway fromt his. I want to delete him off my friends list and all so I can ignore all the things he says about his girl..but I feel like I cant. That I'd be holding a wall between us that maybe he might want to talk to me someday and I wont let him get by and that that ocouldve been my only chance..then I even want to delete my oen account but I can bring myself to it. When I see him...I want to turn the other way and just forget about him. But all I do is get attracted to him. And I want to talk to him..and remind him of what we had..but it ccant be that way..and it wont..I just hope that someday...what do I do..I know im desprate. I know I sound desprate. So how to start moving on?
You start moving forward by deleting him from your friends list. Stop ALL contact with him. I was in the very same situation as you, even though I'm the one who ended it. It took me 3 years to fully get over him, but it got easier as time went by. The beginning is always the hardest, and you're stronger than you think. My ex's sister-in-law wanted me to add her as a friend, (I'm sure he asked her to, 3 years after the fact), but I didnt. I dont want him knowing anything about my new life. Trust me, I thought I would never find love again, and I couldnt have been more wrong. The love I felt for my first love, is NOTHING like the way I feel now about my boyfriend. I have grown in those years since my ex & I were together, and its a healthy, more mature relationship. Maybe because my boyfriend is 4 years older. Knowing he has fallen out of love should be a wake up call for you. True love never dies, but his love for you did. Go out, enjoy being with your friends. Take up a new hobby, anything to keep your mind off of him. I also thought I would want to have my ex in my life, but I dont want anything to do with him again...ever, not even as a friend. Realize he just wasnt the one for you, and the right one is still out there waiting for you. It may take a few years, but in the end it truly is worth the wait! Good Luck!
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Thank you so much. For the first time I feel like I know someone who went through what I am now. As it turns my ex and he girl he really loves are now together. Im happy that he's happy. It's just wonder what about me now. All the guys I see are all guys who would cheat and dont want a serious relationship. I may be young but the fact the my ex was 3 years older always matured what I expected in a relationship. I want something seious and a a guy who would never break me..but fix me. Why is is it that most girls are looking for lvoe yet all guys are looking for flings..? I need to move on I just have not found the right person. I made a new myspace account just to avoid my ex but I have not deleted my toher one..I just cant..it seems I cant. I don't know what to do. I panic all the time in this stupid lonelyness...
it takes time to fix a broken heart and no matter how many times you try you will never fully suceed but it will make you stronger in so many ways that you may not even understand right now. "moving on is simple its what you leave behind that makes it so difficult" I kknow its hard rigght now but it will get better!!
