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Have I made the right choice?

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Well let me start with, I am married to my first and only wife for 23 years. I was 22 and she was 35 when we married. Now we have a 18 year old that we put through private schools for most of her life. I'm 45 now and my wife is 58. Well let me cut to the chase. I found out about 1.5 months ago, that when I was at work, my daughter of 18 years let her boyfriend of 28 sleep in her bed without our knowing and my wife found him in the bed at 2pm that afternoon. Well to say the least, I had a sh*t fit when I got home and lost it. We had a big talk with them and I explained that they had disrespected our home with that move. I let them keep on seeing each other and under the terms I set that he was not allowed to be in my apartment if my wife and I were not home. Well that lasted 2 or 3 weeks as I came home one day early from work and he was sitting on her bed nude! I got pissed and threw him out and told her that was it! I cant believe she did that to me again. Well yesterday I got home and well, my daughter and I got into a verbal fight and she asked me "Please kick me out!" . I said "if you want to go, then go. I will not stop you". My wife freaked out that I have finally done it and she will never forgive me for kicking out my daughter. I feel bad because of it, but I dont know how she will ever learn. We have been good parents and I have my faults. I drink and have used drugs in the house. My daughter smokes pot in the house with my wife and I have once or twice but dont do it any more. I guess that has a lot to do with her respecting the home. I have made a choice to stop all use of drugs from now on as this has gotten out of hand so much. My daughter quit her job and because she had a fight with her workmates and now she up and left the house because of a fight. I feel she likes to run away from issues than deal with them. I have a problem letting a 18 year old tell me how to run my house. She is what I call a slacker. She lost her Passport that we bought her, lost her social security card and has been going to the offices to obtain them again this week. My wife is mad at me because I didn't come in yesterday and tell my daughter how happy I was that she was taking steps to get these documents back. I feel that her smoking pot has led her to this. I dont know if I should call my daughter and ask her to come back as she has really broken my wifes heart. My wife didnt go to work today crying at home. I do love my daughter but feel that this boyfriend has really messed her up in the head. He has a kid with another girl and is not supporting them either. He has issues. I know there are things that I am not covering here but I am not thinking stright now either.

Any advice would be great now.