What is going on in my relationship? So, ive been married to my husband now for a while, and lately i've been catching him "pleasing himself" more and more often. i have no problem with it, except now it seems as if our "fun time" ( im trying to use nice words for it XD) is less romantic, and definitively has lost spark. it never did until i started catching him 2-3 times a day in the bathroom with his smartphone... if anything i think he has fun with me simply because he thinks he has to! i am more than willing to have fun whenever he's around, even if it means multiple times in a day. i dunno. i just feel like (since i don't often please myself and NEVER use porn) that all those naked women are replacing me, i feel obsolete and inadequate... HELP!!! how do i tell him this without sounding like i'm trying to control him? this is a guy who is very jealous about me, very protective and really doesn't like me around other men except my close buddies.
Tell him exactly what you said, that you're starting to feel a little replaced and you'd like his, whole hearted, attention. You said you were willing to lay with him many times a day, why not offer to fulfil a fantasy he has? The po.rn probably fulfils some sort of fantasy he has that he feels ha can't share with you. Discuss what he wants, likes, and his reasons for watching so much lately. Offer to try new things with him, dressing up or whatever.
People are trying to help but you turn down there suggestions, there suggestions are the way to fix it so you need to make some sacrafices. Try sitting down with him and just talk about it and ask why he's doing it so you can fix the problem, communication is key
I wonder if he thinks you're too conservative? Or too inhibited for his tastes somehow? He's using the porn for two reasons - variety and quantity. Btw based on all your other posts about him, it sounds like you're generally fed up with his ways.
You could offer to watch the videos with him... tell him it would really turn you on to see what he likes to watch. He would probably even like to see you get excited while watching. No need for it to be so private if you're a couple.
You are justifiably unhappy. It sounds like you have made a very good effort and have done all of the things that a woman can do in your situation. You should see a couples therapist. I think that's your best bet for fixing things.
The problem is is that I have. I know exactly what he wants . But the problem is is that he wants me doing all the work, all the time and I just am not into that. He won't return the favor .
I find porn disgusting. But I suppose that might work in a different relationship