Wait, do you mean she promised NOT to? If so... well, gosh this is not an easy question, but If I were you, I would do either of these three things:
1- Have a serious talk with her
2-Give the relationship a break
3-(i really dont mean to be harsh) end the relationship
Ok, option 1 is sensible, but isn't this the 3rd time?
the second seems the best to me. I think you need to let her know that this is serious. How will you guy's ever be able to keep going if the main part of a relationship's foundation is MISSING? TRUST. Explain this to her.
Well, the third one is so not me. it's the very last option I would choose. but you know, you deserve someone who is loyal and caring and most of all, trustworthy. Don't let anyone ever fool you there.
Breaking promises can be a red flag for other undesirable behavour. There is an old saying "you cannot unring a bell" meaning that you'll never forget she wasn't true to her word and this will only make it very difficult for you to trust her again. I doubt it is something you'll ever get over. How many chances do you give someone who lied to you? Perhaps you'll want to admit that this is just not the person for you and move on.
It depends on what the promises that she broke were, and how deeply you cared about the promises she made. If it's promises like, 'I promise to never hurt you," or "I love you forever", then you can't really hate them for that.
Sometimes there are certain things that are just better left unsaid, but we feel right in saying them, even if they are things we know aren't humanly possible to always keep. Keep your head up :)
smoking is an addiction and asking her to stop will not make her stop. She knows her behaviour is wrong or she wouldn't have lied about it. Time for her to see her doctor to aid in her quiting. There are a lot of resources to help someone stop smoking. If she refuses to try to stop then it is time to think about moving on...if she's willing to try than hold her hand and help her through it
I think we've told you that you don't get over it. When someone lies you can't change that so you learn to live with it or move on. People lie because they know what they did was wrong and they don't want to 1: let that person down or 2: face the truth. So again...you don't get over it and it is always a part of your relationship.
Sue is right. Smoking is an addiction....her promises were real when she made them....her intentions were good, it's just that the addiction has more power than you do. It's a sad fact, but true.
If you really like her, and want to keep her in your life, then you must allow her to quit on her own, without pressure from you.
Hmm...maybe the question is SHOULD you get over them. Lol, hey don't get me wrong, i'm all for forgiving. But let me remind you that there is a very fine line between forgiving and forgetting. I guess it really depends on what the promise was. How much it ment to you, and most importantly to your relationship.
Well over 5 months it happened 3 times and hasn't in 2. But this has nothing to do with my question. What do I do to get over it BC other than that its a perfect match between us. I've looked many times before and cannot find one reason other than that y we should break up
Then I would say if this is something that really bothers you, you'll have to break it off. You can't just change someone its going to take time and you never know if they will change. If you aren't willing to try to accept what she chooses then there isn't a point.
Smoking something else is even more reason for her to get help. Pot is 5X more cancer causing than cigarette and yes...she needs help. The same rules apply. Get help and you'll stick by her, not and you move on
Depends on what the promises were. Just tell her that you would like to trust her and what she says she is going to do. Let her know it hurt you and tell her to please try harder to keep them.
You're very right Sue90, I 100% agree with you. Infact, that's mostly what I said. (exept for the part about how i didn't mention it'd be hard for her)
get a new girl to like,or find something else to occupy your time to where you dont think about it
sorry to hear that thoughh):
We r a perfect match thought. I've looked For rather reasons on why we should break up and I found none
depending on the promises and how many she broke,it might take awhile for that trust to come back.
it does depend what it was cuz you never now if she broke your promise for get her and move on
The promise was about smoking and stuff. She broke it 3 times
It isn't cigs. Its a something else
what was her promise she made??