So ive recently broke up with my ex and were still friends, it was more of an agreement to break up cause theres no way it can work out.... well i really like this guy now and he likes me alot to.... but even though were not dating we talk about it... and he says it could never work since im friends with my ex.... which i can understand since he dosent talk to any of his exes but im just friends with him and i think not talking to him would make me kinda sad since hes always been some1 i can talk to hes kinda just one of the few good friends i have... but i can see why he dosent want me to talk to my ex he says theres always a small chance that i might start liking my ex or start having feelings for him..... i guess im just kinda confused and wanna see what other people think about this situation or what they would do... cause i just kinda feel i have to choose between them and idk if every other relationship i have is gonna be this way because im friends with my ex....
The general response you will get is that your boyfriend should not control who you are friends with even if they are your ex and that it is perfectly ok to be friends with, even out alone with your ex and that this is entirely about trust. But in general, I do think being friends with an ex is probably a more common cause for strain within a relationship. Now, I agree with this up to a point. I think there are boundaries when it comes to things like this and it also really depends on your relationship with your ex and your new boyfriend ( or potential in your case). Some boundaries I, personally, would never cross with an ex is being completely alone with them at their house or mine, or out at an considered-intimate place. Quite frankly, I never stayed friends with my ex, we talk on occasion but more out of courtesy. It is also quite different for you though since you both ended on good terms and realize that it won't work out, it sort of points to the fact that you both still had feelings for eachother even as you guys broke up. I think you are going to have to choose, unless this new guy is willing to give this a chance, it will be either him or your ex. And no I don't think it will be like this for all your relationships, some people are more accepting and can more easily accept such things.
You need to ask yourself if you are truly over your ex. If you are, then he is not a threat. Don't let anyone dictate your life by telling you who you can and can't talk to or be friends with. I can see that it might be a weird situation for the new guy, but he really has no say in it. If he really likes you, he will disregard the fact that you are still friends with your ex...
Even if you are over your ex it will cause problems if your significant other finds out about it. He will start to get jealous whether he admits it or not and eventually cause tension and eventually a break. I have had all my ex girlfriends as friends and to give you the truth everything was messed up because of it.
its not a bad thing but its not really a good thing either because.. well it could mean you still love him and i know that feeling because i am friends with my ex and for the longest time i didnt want to admit the fact we were broken up. but its good to be friends and it wont hurt future relationships
I think most times it can harm a relationship, but in some cases you should be civil like when there are kids involved. In only half way descant with my ex because we have kids together, if we didn't we would never talk. Not sayin you can't be friends with an ex, I just prefer to not do so
It shouldn't make a difference if your friendly with your ex but I know from experience jealousy isn't something you can always handle well. Now I talk to my ex sometimes but it was/is long distance . But my latest ex I don't talk to cus she's clingy as hell
Thanks guys helps alot(: