He was diagnosed with lung cancer last year, but yesterday he had a series of seizures and he's now been diagnosed with brain cancer. I'm going to visit him today, and I'm wondering what I should expect from him? Like, hooked up to machines, not know who I am...anything that would be considered abnormal I guess. I just don't want to be shocked when I see him.
I am very sorry for you and your family. My father passed away from cancer a few years ago and honestly it was the worse experience in my life.
He will probably be extremely medicated and may not be very coherant. Depending on the medications they are giving him, he may not know you, may fall asleep during conversations or just be totally out of it. They probaby will not have him hooked up to anything over than an IV and maybe a monitor.
I hope someone is going with you. It can be extremely difficult. When you go in, try to put a big smile on and be as positive as you can be. Its going to very difficult time for you and your family, try to be as supportive as you can, take time for yourself, spend time with your friends and make sure you take care of yourself.
He won't be in the state to talk.after my aunt had it there too, and she did not last long. I'm not trying to scare you but its reality. I know this is gonna sound stupid, but make physical contact with him. If he does pass away (fingers crossed that he will not) your gonna remember the contact you had with them for the very last time. Mine was a kiss on the forehead, and I still remember it extremely clearly being over a year now.
Of course I'll still care about him =/ if someone you loved was hooked up to a bunch of cables or something, you would most likely be shocked as well. That's why I want to know what to expect; so that I'm not shocked, because yes, it is like saying that his condition is very bad and I don't want to insult him (although he's a pretty sensible man and he most likely knows how bad his condition is).
It will be a bit hard depending on the condition that he is in.
Sometimes they seem so ill that it looks like you can't do nothing about them, but you can.
Try to have someone with you, just so you won't face it alone, and dont be afraid to cry if you want to.
Sit by him, talk to him, or do whatever you can that makes him feel good, and also makes you feel good.
You should care about him no matter what he looks like or in whatever condition he is in. Without him, you wouldn't be alive (pretty obvious). Ask the doctor that is taking care of him, if there is anything you should be aware before you talk to him. Don't act shocked, because in a way that is saying how bad his condition is. Try to make him feel better.
I'm glad someone is going with you. It is scary and definitely will be a bad expereince, but if you don't go you will regret it. Do the best you can and remember to not overtax yourself. Keep your visit short if you feel its too much on you. If you have questions, don't hesitate to talk to his nurse or Doctor, they can be a big help.
Thanks. My adoptive family is coming with me, so I won't be alone. I'd probably be too nervous to go if I was. I'll try to be positive but I'm naturally pessimistic lol so it will be a challenge. I'm sorry about your father, as well.