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Does My Crush Like Me Back Or Does He Hate Me?

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This is really complicated so Ill start from the beginning. There is this boy I like, obviously. :3 I've always had a crush on him since grade 1.

Anyways, he is really popular, and I am sort of not. I am not a loser or anything but Im not the type of girl every wants to be around, you know? Im sort of in between. My crush and I have known each other since kindergarten. So we've watched each other grow up all these years in school.

He used to talk to me when we were little in grade2 and 3 and 4. But I left in grade 5 to go to school in a different country, then when I returned to Canada in grade 6 he came up to me and said. "Are you(my name here)?" I said yes all shyly and awkwardly(becuase I still liked him) and he gasped and walked away. Ever since he has never spoken to me! I still have a serious crush on him, every time he walks by I get all awkward and the atmosphere changes I can't even look at him becuase if I do it's like I would die. It's really hard to explain, but even if we are in the same room it's so awkward and there is this weird vibe that I can't tell if it's good or bad. If we pass by each other in the halls we both get all silent for some reason and all awkward and our faces get all serious.

He is a class clown, but every time I am in the room he will try his hardest to be funny.

At recess we always make sure to be far away from each other becuase if we are beside each other I just feel kind of scared. But not really scared, I mean like I can't breath or do anything becuase looking at him just makes me want to die.

He talks to everyone at school expect for me. He even talks to my friends and it seems like he is always finding excuses to talk to them. And I notice that when he does talk to me he gets REALLY shy, which never happens with other girls, and plays with his fingers and doesn't look at my face.

But thats very rare when he talks to me. We don't even say hi, or wave to each other or LOOK at each other. Just walk by each other awkwardly. He always harasses all the girls too! But not me. He just ignores me, at least he tries becuase it seems that everywhere I go hes there! Its as if hes following me!

He even talks to the losers of the school. And I mean the LOSERS!

It's not fair, he talks to everyone but me. And it gets SO awkward when we are near each other and just this vibe that I can't explain goes off. I don't know if this is hate or maybe a crush...?