I've been wit this guy for 5 months and I really really love him...he says he loves me to and that he would die if anything were to happen to me...but hes been asking me when im going to have sex with him and also what I thought of sex... why is he asking me these questions and what does it mean...like I love him a lot I really do but I just think its way to soon to be thinking of having sex yet ...
heres some info i dug up> SEX VS. LOVE
"If you love me, you'll have sex with me."
"I love you, I just want to show you how I feel."
"If we love each other, there's nothing wrong with it."
"Sex is natural."
At one time or another, most girls hear some version of one of those lines. But guess what? None of them mean you have to have sex with someone - even if you are truly, madly, deeply in love with that person!
Love and sex are NOT the same thing. Love is an emotion or a feeling. There is no one definition of love because the word "love" can mean many different things to many different people. Sex, on the other hand, is a biological event. Even though there are different kinds of sex, most sexual acts have certain things in common. Sex can be intercourse, or it can be something that does not involve penetration, such as oral sex.
Before i went out with my boyfriend, I told him that i was a virgin and he didnt have a problem with that. Everything is fine with both of us. He's really cool and respectful and our relationship is going well so far. But the thing about him is that he's expecting to have sex with me because i'm his girlfriend. I told told him that that was going to be a big problem before we started going out though. I even asked him for an example if he was going out with a girl for 6 months and they still havnt had sex would he break up with her? At first he said yes then he said he doesn't really know. At least he was being truthful about it though. I think that the problem is his friends. He'll probably be ashamed if his friends find out that he still have not had sex. That's what i think it is. But I believe that if he really likes me no matter what he will listen. I dont want us to end up breaking up over something stupid and the thing is that i really like him though, he's a nice person. Pleasee help me.
Dear Ni Ni,
Any guy who truly cares about you, would never push you into sex. Sex is a huge deal, no matter what some people say. For most girls, sex is not just a physical act. A girl can get very emotionally attached to a person she has sex with, even if that person doesn't deserve her love. Unfortunately, some guys see sex as totally physical and don't get their emotions involved. They set a timeline for having sex - like your BF is doing - and make an ultimatum. The thing is, by doing that, your BF isn't treating you like a person. He's just saying, he needs to have sex with "his girlfriend" by a certain date. But you're not just "the girlfriend" - you are your own person, with your own feelings and needs and comfort zone.
I want you to think about your body is a valuable treasure - something priceless and rare and incredibly special. It should not be shared with just anyone who treats you nicely, even if you really like him. Rather, you should save that kind of intimate physical connection for a guy who proves by his actions over a LONG time - not just a couple of months - that he truly loves you and respects your feelings and wants to be together with you for the long-term.
How will you know if your BF loves you this way? You will see it in many ways... most importantly, that he will be patient with you setting a slow pace for sexual involvement. Generally, a boy who will care for you after sex is also a guy who will wait a long time for sex without pressuring you. A guy who loves you will treat you with respect, listen to your feelings, put you first in his life, be proud of including you in activities with his friends and family, cheer you up when you are down, and show his love in many other such ways.
Just because he is your bf, doesnt mean you have to give him sex!!!
I agree with you! I think it is definitely too early to be thinking about s*x, but if you ask a guy it is never to early because they always welcome s*x!
So don't rush it, if your not ready you're not end of story.. make your point clear and if he really loves he'll understand. I disagree with Carmela because a female has a lot to lose/gain when it comes to s*x, so yes you do have to be ready and you have to be sure! S*x is a big responsibility. If you are ready to take a responsibility like s*x (pregnancy, STDs, etc), I am a virgin, I have been with my boyfriend for 10months now and even though he too asked me about it he knows better! I saw several of my friends cry and cry because they "thought" they were pregnant, many of them lost their sleep over the thought if the guy really loved them or if he was w them just for s*x, I saw many lost dreams because of pregnancy, but I also saw many of my friends succeed just as Carmen says! But personally I am not ready to take on a responsibility like S*x and I am Sure of it, so I am going to wait and I hope that my boyfriend waits for me! S*x is just a compliment to love, is the climax of it, I think of s*x as one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and I would like to share my body with only one guy.. so until that guy comes.. and he PrOvEs to me with Actions Not words that he in reality loves me.. I will wait!
BTW remember that Love is a Verb Not a Subject!!
I went out with my ex last year for a month this year for 2 weeks we broke up those 2 times because I was only 14 and my mom didnt want me to date anyone so yea.. 2 months ago he called me and told me that he wanted to go back with me I am planning to go back with him because I really love him!!! we have been texting just like friends and he asked me if I was still a virgen and he also asked me if he could be the first one to have sexual relationships with him am almost the same as you... I am quessing that no guy needs to pressure you to have sex having sex for us females and loosing our virginity is something really speacial to us and a beautiful memory for the rest of our lifes.
am sort of in the same sitation... my boyfriend is white an am asian.. a feel bit more insecure bowt dis because a fink that his values and beliefs would be waaay difrent 2 mine :( I have always thought that I should save sex for that one guy who I get married to... we have bin together 4 bowt 3 munfs.. He's neve tokd bowt it yet but I browt it up yesterdy and e sed that it dpends when I am redy... I am gona b 17 buh a don't fink that I want to before marriage... btw dis as nufin ta do wiv da guy because he iz sooo sweet and I no he wud neve pressurize me buh dis makez me feel guilty 4 not bein able 2 giv him wot he mayb wants...
i had sex with my bf when i was 15 i told him i wasnt ready.. but i did it anyway.. it worked out though cuz were still together 3 years later and i wouldve done it sooner or later.. he does love and care about me.. sometimes girls think there not ready when there just nervous.. cuz i did wanna have sex i just was kinda afaid to make that step to actaully. "doing it"! :)-carmela
just like to up date to that yes I am still with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and no im not a virgin anymore. actually the sexual part of our relationship made us grow closer to each other. and yes I was definatly ready for it and he didnt pressure me to do it so its all good ... thank you for all of your advices you guys are great
if your boyfriend loves u, he will not give way to hurt your feelings.. He will always respect your decisions and lay you in bed after you 2 are walking in the aisle...When true love begins, it surely waits..ON the other hand: Does it need to wait? C'mon, do patient is a virtue.. TIme is Gold!!
If he is pressuring you its most likely to just be for the sex but if he is happy to wait till your ready that is the sure sign of love
av bin wid my boyfriend for 3 munfs and he neve even browt you da topic till I did... best advice don't do it till your comfortabl and don't eva let im pressurize u :)
I feel the same
I also feel like you have dah same love life like me??
HOw do you know if you were raped?
yall just dumb