Did something happen to my boyfriend sexually?

I am wondering if there is something wrong with my boyfriend. He is an older guy at 38 and sex is a little off with him. I enjoy sex and he doesn’t seem to follow the norm. at all in bed, he seems to think I am being perverted most of the time. He doesn’t like a lot of things and we have sex only about once a week; he doesn’t seem interested in sex really. When we do have sex its always in the same place and the same position. I usually have to innitiate the fun if we get to have any, I am the one that wants to try this or that. He never wants to try something new or just play. I have tried lingerie but for the most part it goes unnoticed or walking around him nude and still not much of a notice unless he is in the mood. I have mentioned pornography and still uninterested, he actually says what’s the point. We actually ran into something on tv once and he had no interest in it at all. He does not look up sex on the internet from what I can tell. I have tried to talk dirty to him and he doesn’t participate. He still has a problem for the most part about being nude in front of me and trys to hide himself and we have been dating for 2 years. If I touch him when he is not in the mood I seem to bother him, and I am just playing with him (no pun intended). If I flirt with him again I am being perverted. He thinks masterbation is perverted. He seems to make a few comments that could be considered as sexual but it’s brief. He doesn’t go out and about so I am not too worried about an affair but the way he is seems unusual. He seems to need to brag about what all he has done in his past but from what I can see, I find it very hard to believe. I have asked if I satisfy him and he says yes and of course he would say that but I can’t seem to reach him with sex. I have asked a few people around about his behavior, most are confused and two people have mentioned maybe he was abused. I know better than to ask, but how can I tell if there was something from his childhood that holds him back as an adult? If it’s not sexual abuse as a child is there something maybe he is into but embarrassed to tell me? I am truly confused.

Answer #1

Well it depends on how much you you like him. Obviously if you’ve been dating for two years you must like him a lot. But in a relashionship, sex is a lot. It is very very important! Without sex, you won’t have a healthy relashionship, and it will get very boring. The Bedroom is where all the excitement comes from. A relashionship with GOOD sex, is a healthy one.

Answer #2

Thanks. I guess this all why I wondered if there as a problem from his past. Its just abnormal to me, I mean two years with this. The only time it seemed more active was in our first month of dating since then its been the same routine.

Answer #3

well there is deffinetly no communication in this relationship (on his side) well let him have it his way for a month or so0o and see if he comes crawling back :P

Answer #4

I have tried to talk about sex but he gets exasperated by it. Then he tries to turn it around on me as if I have a problem because I do like sex and I will play with him. He gets to thinking maybe we are not sexually compatible because we don’t agree on the amount of sex or how much fun we should have. I am not a swinger but I thought maybe just the foreplay with mentioning it would get him in the mood since he says he has had 3somes before and he then asked why do I want to have sex with other men. He mentions 3somes with me then when I ask if he is serious he asks me why do I take him seriously on those subjects he is just teasing me. I doubt he would go through with it anyway and I know me, I couldn’t do it

Answer #5

The few guys I have asked said the same thing. A few women said he may have been molested. I don’t know what the deal is but what I can do, I love him? I want him to be happy, he doesnt seem homophobic and he comes from a place where it is truly accepted. Why hide it if thats what hes into, just enjoy what you enjoy right? I mean he could be in closet but not dating a woman right? He could have female friends to hide the facts if he needed that.

Answer #6

hun noone can answer this for you besides him..

you need to talk to him

Answer #7

Maybe he is a closet gay?

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