I got a random message from a complete stranger yesterday letting me know that my boyfriend had been messaging her asking to take her to the movies, and sent me the screenshots. I confronted him immediately and of course he couldn't deny it; I have the proof. He's acting like he's torn apart- keeps saying he can't live without me/ can't picture his future without me/ he's sorry / he's never done anything like that before... the whole spiel. He keeps saying, "I've never cheated on you." but in all honestly, I consider the mere questioning of taking someone out cheating. Just because she ratted you out doesn't mean it didn't happen?? I've told him I never want to hear his voice or see his face again, except i'm 8 months pregnant with his child. He's always been pretty good to me. I've caught him in a couple lies, but nothing serious. So the question here is- second chance, or dump the scum..
It's a tough situation to be in, I'm sure. Something like that completely destroys trust.
I guess the question really is; what do you want to do? Is this something you want to work on, or are you done with him? Take some time to think about it.
If you want to work with him on this, let him know that he has to earn your trust back. Don't just give it back, because that tells him that this kind of behavior is okay, and that you'll just take him back anyways if he does it again. If you do decide to take him back, you have to be very firm with him and let him know that you will not accept that kind of crap at all. Let him know if it happens again, you're gone for good. And if it does, stick to your word.
As said though, take some time to think about this. In the end, you have to do what's right for you and your child. If you think you can work on this with him, by all means. If not, let him know and explain why you feel the way you do.
I hope everything works out for you.
Oh I definitely agree with you on the part where him asking to take a girl to a movie is cheating, its all about the intent. What sort of other lies have you caught him in?
Ask yourself a few questions, how important is he to you? How much do you mean to him and vice versa? Do you want to try to work things out?
You two need to talk. if you end up wanting to work things out, let him know, it had better not happen again. If not, talk about child support and the baby.
In the end, you need to figure out if you want to give him the second chance.
How long have you two been together? I think you both need to sit down face to face, when you're both calm, and have a good long talk. You need to decide whether you still want him in your life or not and you need to ask him if he's willing to stay committed to you and only you.
It's only been a year that we've been together.