So, I've dated the same guy for...well a little bit of forever really. He recently tried to break up with me, and took it back saying he had listened to his friends and he's sorry. He, the very next month, drove to my house and tried to leave once again...only to sit in my floor and cry and complain that it was the biggest mistake of his life. So...he just over a month later (this month) sent me a txt message that said he loves me with all of his heart and he's sorry that he just feels he's very young for a serious relationship and that he regrets having to hurt me but that he just can't do this right now. He swore it wasn't a change of heart and that he loves me and he's sorry and really cares about me still and wants to be my friends. I can't help but to think his "friend" may once again be behind this. I am completely miserable..and I keep praying that he will come back...I don't know what to do. If anyone that reads this and prays would not mind helping, I would appreciate it. Any advice or prayers would be gladly accepted. Also, what is the possibility that someone may have cursed me or something? That could happen right..and how am I to resolve that? HELP ..I'm so depressed...
I am going thru the same thing right now. My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me just about every 3 months while we were together. Everytime that he would come to me and say that he was just not happy and didn't know what he wanted I would tell him that although I was sad and I loved him I wanted him to be happy so just to leave. Most times he did leave and called me all day long and after a week he would be right back. The second time I told him to just leave he fell on the floor, put his head in my lap and cried. I just held him and told him everything was going to be ok. We were back together within days. After a little over a year of this, 2 months ago, he finally broke up with me. I didn't do much to fight it but believe me I have missed him and suffered beyond belief since. The other day I found out that he is dating another girl who he met exactly 1 month after we broke up. He even managed to tell me how happy he is now and he's not "depressed" anymore because I used to make him feel like he was tied down. It's amazing what men will say and do to justify their behavior. He was always free to leave and always returned on his own accord. When I pointed that out to him he was put in his spot and admitted to me that yes that was true. ALthough I called and text messaged him for awhile I finally gave that up and now he holds on to any chance he can get to communicate with me. Although I want to talk to him and miss him and I know what he feels even if he doesn't he doesn't do what need tobe done to be a good man to me. He has to know that he loves me to. I guess what I'm trying to say to you is this, You can love him and respect him and want him in your life so bad it hurts (literally) but he's going to do what he feels in his head is what he needs at that moment. I wish so badly that I had stood up for myself along time ago so that I wouldn't be in the despair that I am in now. I wish that I had said to him when he was going back and forth, my god I treat you with more love and I care for you better and more than you will ever realize and you still feel the need to leave, my god just leave me alone. After everything I put up with, all the understanding I had for his situation and his feelings in the end was worth him finding someone else after 1 month. Everyone says that if a man truly loves you he would go oevr hell and highwater to be with you. Although I believe that's true I also think that the man has to be emotionally, mentally and physically able to do it. He can love you until the end of time but if he doesn't believe in himself enough to love you and stand up for that now time WITH you won't change him at all. What you want is for him to grow as person and a man and if in the end it was meant to be he will come back with the ability to deal with anything with you. Otherwise just imagine how hard a life with him would be. The real suffering you would have to go thru everyday of your life with this man. You can love him and miss and feel desperate without him but (and since I'm still here this is very hard to say but) let him go and do what he needs to do for himself (and painfull I have to say that may be with another girl, please don't go psycho. Keep your dignity) and if he comes back a changed and better man who's ready to treat you like a lady who loves him than wonderful. Otherwise please save your self and your love for someone who can't live without you in his life.
From one broken heart to another,
Oh boy do I empathize with you, but this isn't at all gender related it has to do with selfish people that have no compassion for others' feelings and have no clue what life's about for them. They want they're partner to do all the compromising and cater to their needs and not REALLY give anything back in return. My wife of almost 10 years has been cheating on me the last two years and keeps coming back saying she'll break it off with her lover (who's her sister's ex-husband...her sister was married to this scumbag when she started sleeping with him...Can you imagine having a sister (my wife) that would do that to you?!). Anyway, these people are affair of the long term commitment that is required of anything in life to enjoy true fulfillment and long term happiness and will seek short term happiness for themselves no matter the cost (I have two young boys and she still never even tried once to cut it off). Fact is, we fought our entire marriage over her doing nothing but taking and seeking immediate gratification at my expense. I have let her put me on such a horrific emotional roller coaster that I have lost literally everything I have worked for in the past 25 years...I am bankrupt and my career is ruined...because I thought all along that my wife had the compassion and committeemen that I possess. Fact is she doesn't and never will. If I were you honey I would run straight for the hills. My wife was a cheater before I met her and the saying IS true.."Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater".. Leave him and DO NOT let him back in your life or you will ruin it like I ruined mine. Find someone who knows a good thing when they see one and you will be loved and cherished like you desire your entire life! Today is my birthday and the self absorbed little you know what didn't even remind my sons or get a card for them to give to me! That's okay because I am giving myself the best birthday present ever by deciding that I am not going to let her try and con her way back into my life!!!
It's not you honey. Some guys just don't know what to do with themselves when they start having actual feelings for a female. They get confused and scared because it's something they've never experienced...Or maybe they have and reacted the same way. These men end up loney and miserable and hitting up the local strip clubs because of their chronic teeter-tottering.
If a man is ThAt confused then he's not ready for th GOOD LIFE---meaning YOU! It's difficult and you'll tell him not to be scared and you'll pour your heart out but IN THE END what for? Try not to think "well, maybe I'll get lucky and he'll stay this time" because Men a creatures of habit; they'll get away with it once then keep doing it until they get tired and leave. Don't give him that power to be wrong in the first place just to end up walking away for good or worse...staying with you then cheating and telling the other girl the same things he's told you. Be happy that your heat can love,that means your worthy of being loved by someone Better than this Yoyo joker!! As far as prayer goes, maybe the Lord is telling you something you dont want to hear right now? You're lucky in that case! You should listen, I'm sure he has someone better in mind for you.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS, BECAUSE I WAS IN THIS SAME SITUATION WITH THIS GUY I LOVED SO MUCH, HE LEFT ME BECAUSE I REFUSED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM, AND HE TELL ME AM WASTING HIS TIME, BUT I STOOD MA GROUNDS AND NO MATTER HOW I FELT FOR HIM AND THE LOVE I FELT, WHEN HE DECIDED TO LEAVE I LET HIM GO, EVEN THOUGH I FELT THE NEED AND DESIRE TO CALL HIM OR CONTACT HIM , I FOUGHT THE URGE ,IT TOOK ME ALMOST A MONTH TO GET OVER HIM ..BUT AM GLAD I AM NOW, AND HE JUST CAME BACK WANTING TO TALK TO ME AFTER 3MONTHS HAD PASSED BUT I TOLD HIM FLAT TO GO BACK TO WHERE HES COMING FROM CUS THURS NO SPACE LEFT UP HERE FOR HIM. MEN CAN BE SO UNPREDICTABLE SOMETIMES, CUS JUST AS I THOUGHT HE HAS FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME, HE ENDED PROVING HOW INSECURE HE WAS ABOUT HIMSELF.ALL AM TRYING TO SAY IS , NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS, THE BEST THINK YOU CAN DO IS LEARN AND TRY HARD TO LOVE YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, YOU WILL REALISE THAT NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PLAY WITH YOUR FEELINGS OR YOUR HEART THE WAY THEY DO...GOOD LUCK .BLESS YOU!
I am going through the same thing. I met this guy and he was womderful. We enjoyed each other and he even said he was falling for me. He told my mother he found what he wanted. Then one day he stopped calling. I never forgot about him. Three months later he called. Just to see how I was and to say I was a womderful woman and I did nothing wrong. That lasted a week. Then 3 months after that he called again. We started going out again. He introduced me to his family and said he wasn't going anywhere. Well, after 3 weeks he stopeed calling again. I texted him and e-mailed him. No response. I care a lot about him but am so tired of the games. Everytime he calls I go running back. I am so hurt. Even more this time since he said he wasn't going anywhere and I trusted him.
If he would come back I would tell him I have to think about it. I would make him realize that he can't just drop in and out of my life when he wants to. I know being with him a long time doesn't mean forever, but we planned on getting married and stuff. He says he's sorry he keeps hurting me.and that he loves me..but...he's not showing it very well...I just really don't want to lose him..and...I don't know what I'm supposed to do..I would do the right thing..if I had any options..but I don't..and I feel like such a fool for believing anything he ever told me.
hey dont worry... I think everything happens for a reason and people who are not like you or are not meant to be in your life just gradually fade away. trust me I am going thru the same thing with him coming and going again and again. I initially thought that its not easy ti break a broken heart but it does break further and you have to start all over from where you started the first time. so please dont pick your wounds and try not being in touch with him till the time he has made up his mind. please dont be his rag doll.
Why sould he listen to his friend if he knows how he feels for you. I think he is selfish why should he hurt your feelings doesnt he care. Its good that you take him back every time he apologize but for once think about yourself you also have a life. Being with a guy for so long does not mean you will be with him forever just be wise and do the right thing.
You want to marry this guy who keeps leaving every month?
He is selfish and immature and obviously doesnt know what he wants...
I know you love him, but why put yourself through this over a guy who obviously doesn't care about you as much as you care about him?
No one cursed you, this is entirely his fault not some cosmic curse...
I guess it will just take time...I just don't know how to get over him... I'm not ready to move on..and I just moved to this town so I don't really have anyone to hang out with yet... UGH!!! why did this have to happen to me?! I was perfectly happy... = _<
Get some financial advice for this. You need to start off by talking to your bankruptcy attorneys. They should be able to help.