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Communicating with my son's mother

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ok,I recently stopped drinking I was a heavy drinker,I lost my job,and and havnt seen my 4 year old son in three months,I do not have any child support for him and im sure his mother is going crazy wondering where I am,but im now 2months sober and looking for a new job,but since I've stopped drinking I've kind of been real down and stressed,and I miss my son a lot,and I want to see him,or at least speak to him,but im not sure what to say to his mother when I call,she just going to think im full of bulls;;t,but the thing is im really trying,and we havnt went to childsupport court yet so shes not obligated to let me see him,so I havent payed childsupport for a couple of months,and havent spoken to her,so how should I go about,speaking to her?