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Can you please tell me what you think?

You can be honest- it wont hurt my feelings. I want to give this to my boyfriend but it will be the first poem I have ever shown anyone in my entire life- I have always kept them private because they are my personal feelings, and I dont write them to sound good. Things you would fix or improve?

She wanders aimlessly in her mind Trying to find the place where she feels good enough She searches for the place she feels pretty enough

She cowers away from contact All the while she is desperate for the connection She balances herself between utter depression and hope

They watch as she tries to belong, but doesn’t quite fit She is the filler for their occasional space She has yet to achieve a role of permanence

She stops wandering and searching Hope has died and depression floods her mind

She finds this place where she feels good enough She finds this place where she feels pretty enough She finds this place where she belongs and feels hope

– I found you. Thank you for all you have done for my soul

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Answer #1

Wow ! you guys rock! I am not one of those that just wants the attention or feedback- I truly didnt know what reaction I would get. nice spin informer!

This is AMAZING!!! and then a light shone down from the bloody skies it washed away the anger, the death and the cries she stood strong from her corner of grief and stared at the hand with wild disbelief

Answer #2

Wow, that is breathtaking, its beautiful in a different kind of way! But wow, oh wow! I dont think any changes need to be made, I think you should definitley show it to him, and if it freaks him out, you can write me poems haha. Funmail me with the results! Jadey

Answer #3

She wanders aimlessly in her mind searching for a place she never could find where she could feel beautiful, sweet and divine

She cowers from touch she cowers oh so much yet shes desperate, alone and has cried quite enough

They watch as she tries to belong, but doesn’t quite fit to them she is like a cat that has just been hit making her cower in a corner, they are laughing like sh*t!

and then a light shone down from the bloody skies it washed away the anger, the death and the cries she stood strong from her corner of grief and stared at the hand with wild disbelief

the place she can belong the place she can feel strong in this warm heart shed been waiting all along

quite an inspiration :D

Answer #4

oh I do like urs and I do like informers. if your boyfriend seems like the guy who appreciates it. then yeah give it to him(:

Answer #5

=O That’s so good :DD

Answer #6

Wow! that’s amazing! Lol I really like your poem. :D

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