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Can a married man have feelings for the "other woman"?

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How do you know if the married man you're having an affair with really cares for you? I have been seeing this guy for almost four years. We are together once a week or more. I am a married women. My husband is a good man! The married man wife is a good friend of mine. its a long story. I will explain more later... please help ! I really want to end this because of the hurt it could cause for both of us ..I don't know why I am doing this..I am taking a big chance on losing a good friend and my family for this man. We have talked about this relationship over and over again. We both feel that we love our spouses with no plans on leaving them. So why are we doing this? This guy has a lot to lose if we get caught. I mean a lot.. sleeping with his wife's best/good friend.He can get any women he wants. He has money,looks the whole package.. why take a big chance with me? Help please.. my typing and spelling is bad