What do I do if my boyfriend is trying to change what i wear?

Answer #1

I love my boyfriend. I know he loves me. And he has always appreciated me, and loved me for what I am. But recently, he keeps hinting, suggesting, pressuring me to dress different. See, I am a t-shirt, kind of girl, I usually throw on whatever comfortable, I don’t wear thongs, or yoga pants because they are uncomfortable for me. And so, my boyfriend, keeps seeing girls at our school wear yoga pants and skirts with thongs, and he constantly reminds me that he would love to see it on me, saying things like “well i wouldn’t mind if you did,” or “it just looks so much better shorter”. i have told him many times this is pssing me of and that he should just love me the way I am. And at the end of those fights, he always concludes sweetly that I am right that he should. But then a few days after, he just reverts back, and keeps suggesting and hinting. And is suggesting and hinting really feels like pressuring to me. So, right now we are fighting again. Am I blowing this out of proportion? I have offfered a compromise that id wear sometimes just for him but he responds with “not everyday? and makes it obvious he is upset. What should I do about this, how do i stop his constant pressuring. I do not want to break up with him, and I will not, i love him too much, I am only looking to fix this problem.

Answer #2

I love my boyfriend. I know he loves me. And he has always appreciated me, and loved me for what I am. But recently, he keeps hinting, suggesting, pressuring me to dress different. See, I am a t-shirt, kind of girl, I usually throw on whatever comfortable, I don’t wear thongs, or yoga pants because they are uncomfortable for me. And so, my boyfriend, keeps seeing girls at our school wear yoga pants and skirts with thongs, and he constantly reminds me that he would love to see it on me, saying things like “well i wouldn’t mind if you did,” or “it just looks so much better shorter”. i have told him many times this is pssing me of and that he should just love me the way I am. And at the end of those fights, he always concludes sweetly that I am right that he should. But then a few days after, he just reverts back, and keeps suggesting and hinting. And is suggesting and hinting really feels like pressuring to me. So, right now we are fighting again. Am I blowing this out of proportion? I have offfered a compromise that id wear sometimes just for him but he responds with “not everyday? and makes it obvious he is upset. What should I do about this, how do i stop his constant pressuring. I do not want to break up with him, and I will not, i love him too much, I am only looking to fix this problem.

Answer #3

He should accept your dressing choices yes; not wearing thongs or yoga pants doesn’t make you look less attractive. If he don’t like the way you dress; maybe he should consider looking for someone else just a thought. My guy friend doesn’t want me to dye my hair burgundy he sayss it would look stupid :(

Answer #4

I’d say the most you can do is just keep telling him that he should love you for who you are and not the way you dress. Tell him that you love him the way he is wouldn’t ever want him to change so you should get the same respect. Another thing you could do is tell him you don’t want to wear stuff like that because you wouldn’t want the attention it would get from the other guys. I mean come on, what guy wants other guys looking and drooling over their chic. That would hopefully make him think wow, she is great and only wants me to look at her that way.

Answer #5

I have said all those things to him, the last few times we fought he waslike oh I understand, I do love you and youre beautiful in everything you wear. I dont know why he suddenly became like this. I have eben talking to him but he just keeps saying he wants me to wear it everyday. He was never like this before.

Answer #6

IDK, this is a really hard one! All I can think of is telling him you respect your body and wish that he would too. That you aren’t willing to change that for anyone.

Answer #7

LOl ivetold him that too, thanks for your efforts :}

Answer #8

Anytime, I really hope it works out for you. :) If I think of anything else I’ll be sure to let you know!

Answer #9

just talk to him! tell him you arent going to change just for his benifit, tell him it feels like your being pressured into it. dont do somthing jsut because he wants you to! i know it might sound mean, but your needs come before his. atleast until your married.

Answer #10

Well, relationships are compromise….you can wear your T’s but every once in a while slide into what he wants you to wear, just to please him (it feels good to make someone happy)….you don’t have to do it all the time, just now and then…

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Answer #11

I know, I tried to compromise, and he would just tell me I want everyday. And now we are taking a break from our relationship because of this, and it is more than just this. It is that he sees other girls having sex with their boyfriends in public, or giving bl0wjobs in public, and I want to wait for sex, and i find doing stuff like that in public is umm… well not really respectful for me (my beliefs), he sees other girls dressing like that and doing things like that, and because I wont, he wants to take a break. Not breaking up not seeing other people but a break. he just keeps comparing me to other girls who don’t care about these things, girls who are compeltley different from me and i keep telling him that he should just appreciate everything that we do have. he was never like this before, I just don’t understand what i should do now.

Answer #12

this sucks u kno n i kno u dnt wanna break up with him but it seems like dis is were its going bcuz i guess he wants a different kind of girl n u deserve better then dat sum1 who loves u 4 who u r its hard u kno but mayybe if he feels like ur really over it n tired he mite just stop nreallly want u to stay n 4get bout everything else …

Answer #13

i think your right not changing the way you dress just for him. you should be you and no one else. maybe you could once in a while dress like he wants you too. but i deff agree you shouldn’t change who you are for someone else no matter who it is.

Answer #14

Be careful, usually when men get like that, asking you to change your appearance such as clothing or your hair it usually is a sign that they are getting bored and they are looking for something new. Look for the signs when they are comparing you to other girls, it is a sign that he may cheat on you. He is looking for something new

Answer #15

His mind is getting in the wrong place and he’s thinking with the wrong head.

If you want to do some compromising (and it is up to you) It should be in the privacy of your home and not out in public where you obviously do not feel comfortabe

The “other girls” who dress that way are a dime a dozen and you should remind him that YOU are different, and ask him why he loves you.

Men are dogs, and I’ll admit we can’t help but look…………..BUT do we really want to spend our days with what we see and lust over? Deep down the answer is NO.

Ask him to search himself and decide if he really wants you to be that way, or if he’d rather you be the way he fell in love with.

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