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my boyfriend and his family are having a lot of trouble with money, and he's been helping as much as he can. So i told him not to worry about getting me a christmas present because of the money issue. I still want to get him a present, but my parents think it's stupid to buy someone a present if they're not getting you something.
First, when you said "So i told him not to worry about getting me a christmas present because of the money issue", were you being honest? With yourself? Deep down, are you not expecting anything from him? Whether it would be costly or not? A gift, coming from the heart, whatever it's value, is still priceless; how ever it was obtained, is still a gift.
Second, do you understand him? Do you really love him? For if you do, you won't be asking this question.
Third, yes, parents and friends are there to see everything is fair. They can advise you of things and inform you of their views, but it is you who will decide on what matters most. Are you a girl who only give if you will also receive? Or, are you a lady who knows how to love and truly understands her beloved.
Rather than embarrass him, I would have a talk with him about the situation. If he can't afford to buy you something, and you buy him something, I can guarantee that he WILL be embarrassed. Instead, decide to perform some act of kindness for each other or each other's families. You can wash walls, shampoo rugs, clean out a closet, darn or mend clothes, do laundry, do dishes, clean out a garage or attic, fix a bicycle, paint a room, put up a Christmas tree, string lights inside or outside, babysit, mow or trim a lawn, visit someone in a hospital or nursing home. Some gifts can long be forgotten but a true gift of the heart can be remembered forever.
Good gifts are not necessarily expensive but are thoughtful. You should have told your BF that you do not expect an expensive present. He should know you well enough to be able to come up with something you will like and appreciate without spending money he doesn't have. Agreed that getting him an expensive gift will embarrass him if he can't reciprocate.
If you would like to get him a gift, do it and don't worry too much about what your parents (or anyone else, for that matter) will think. Although I can understand your parents wanting to give their opinion, receiving isn't really the point of giving something. You give just because you want to.
if you want to buy him a gift you shouldnt think about it you should just buy it and give it to him and celebrate christmas. its not important if he bought a gift or not. the point here is to share something. you might buy a cheap gift.
Yes, you should because then he will realize that you care for him. If he doesn't get you something in return then you should break-up unless you think it is a great relationship that is going well. But i would make a guy experiment.
If it is truly a present, then it should not matter weather he got you one or not. The point of a present is, it is given because you want to give, not because you expect to get something in return.
It is ok to get him a gift even though he isnt you....I think its sweet. Only thing is he might feel bad if he didnt get you one and you did him. But im sure he will apprieciate it.
It's not about giving something to get something. And it doesn't have to be a pricey, expensive gift. It can be something you made.
YOU do what YOU want to do....he would if he could...you can...so do it...it'll be appreciated !
