Is my boyfriend loving? Or just abusive? My boyfriend always love talking of future but some things he says scare me. For example he say me "i kill you la if u ever cheat/break with me. i will rip ur skin from ur bone & watch u suffer" it is the only crazy thing he say me. he is usually very loving and spend his time with me and treat me good. but im confuse by this. he also sometime make me promise him things during sex. he will say "be a good girl ok? and i will treat u this way forever my princess. promise to be good." but if i were a "bad girl" or disagree with him earlier he will shove himself in me even if it hurts :( i dont know if he just scare that i will leave or not, what do you think? He has never hit me or anything, he always do everything i ask and is romantic but this behavior is causing me to think more of it. He is also 10 yr older than I am.
Well i think being in a relationship with someone that much older could make you feel inferior so you put up with more abuse..but that sounds like he is abusing you..even if he isn't violent he is still being abusive through his words and threats..i think the safest thing is to get out of the relationship because you desearve better or the longer you let it go on the harder it will be to end..but nobody can make you end an abusive relationship you have to decide for yourself that you want and deserve better and shouldn't put up with is..maybe talk to a friend or family member (even better if they hava had a similar relationship in the past but left) and ask for help how to end the relationship..you will need all the support you can get..hoped this helped even a little bit^.^ stay strong you deserve better!
thank u all for reply. it is very helpful and i will take these thing into great consideration. i ask him again today if he meant what he say & he just say to me "i love u & we can work through anything" so at this point i ask him what if u suspect me but it is not true, will you hurt me still? he said "no, im reasonable ill make sure i have real proof" i ask my close friend & she say me this means he just scared to lose me! & just made light joke of it. im not sure bc i love him very much but i will watch myself and him more carefully for any more bad signs.
You two ladies are so right..........I think this girl could use some help and might listen to you more than me, but YuriChan if your reading this, Manipulation and control comes in many forms and the ones doing it to you are usually very good at it. Mostly sociopaths who are actually not capable of sympathy for another persons hurt......it's all about them and you are just an object for their twisted, insecure ego. I know this first hand because I learned it the hard way. Long story.
Okay, there is an entire book about abuse relationships called "But He Never Hit Me". Physical abuse is not the only kind of abuse out there. You need to get out of that relationship before it's too late! Do not justify his action and say it is ok just because he is nice SOMETIMES. That is NOT okay for him to hurt you during sex and it is NOT okay to tell you that he will kill you! That is not love! That is abuse!
Thing is, he may THINK he loves you yurichan. But that is not the way to show you. When you love you do not control. This is him trying to control you. He may think he loves you, but this is not healthy and will end in disaster no matter what. Everyone is a fraid of losing someone they love, but his threats and his physically hurting you is abusive and harmful both mentally and physically.
You need to get away from this guy ASAP before he gets even more "in your head" and makes it harder to do so.
He sounds like a sociopath, psycho or something.............Get away at any cost and don't let any guilt trips or anything else he tries to pull stop you. Even if he becomes really sweet....it's means of control. Get out of it now!!
Yea, that is a sign of an abusive and a controlling relationship. He might not hit you but he does hurt you physically if you do not agree to what he wants. In addition, that verbal abuse is not okay. He is attempting to control you through physical and mental means.
uhhh wtf thats not normal..... hes threatening you... like whats his problem.. thats really scary. if i were you i wouldent wanna be with him thats not cool at all.. hes more like abusive you dont say that stuff to someone you love you dont threaten them..
He just told you again that he WILL hurt you if he finds "proof" if you were to do something he didn't like. Stop brushing these red flags off. Your friend doesn't understand the severity of the situation and neither do you. This is a dangerous situation.