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Over the past month my boyfriend has become more and more distant, and it's really starting to worry me. I like to think it is all in my head, because I do worry a lot, but it's been three days now and he hasn’t said a word to me. This isn’t the first time he's gone days without talking to me either, and when we do talk he barely says anything anymore. I've tried to keep my head, give him space, and not hound him too much about it, 'cause I understand guys like their space. But it's just starting to get to me :(
He's also stopped saying he loves me, but when I confronted him about that he told me "Why do you ask... you know it's so"... But I wasn’t too satisfied with that answer.
Just any advice would help right now, I’m not too great at this relationship and emotion stuff… so I’m really at a loss. He told me once that he was so use to being alone he didn’t know how to handle me, and that he tended to push away people he loved when he’s under stress… But if that’s the case just wish he would tell me what was stressing him.
Hi, I have a similar situation but my track record isn't perfect, so my advice is not worth much.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, and from the very beginning we were extremely hot and heavy. from there, it just went down hill. He has anger problems, and refuses responsibilty for his actions. He flirts with other girls and openly says who he would F*** . It really didn't bother me at first because I'm pretty easy going, but as we got more serious I asked him to stop all that if he wanted me around. From there, he said he had stopped, but later I discovered he was lying and that it was actually worse than I thought. After that there was no trust. He is very intolerant of me and gets very aggravated very fast when I am around. He makes plenty of time for going out with his friends, but hasn't gone out with me in a long time. When I confront him his first excuse is always money, then when I offer to pay he says he is tired, when I say we'll go the next day, he just yells and says I'm smothering him. I got really fed up of always being let down, and never spending any time with him, when he calls out of work to hang out with his other friends. I have a sneeking suspicion he's been cheating on me. Recently, he has been fighting for custody of his son (which was not discussed with me) I took the liberty of announcing a hiatus, on a count of I am ony 19 and he is 23. I am going to be traveling for the next few years, and a family is not in my plans. since then, he has been upset that I "left" but continues not hanging out with me and ignoring me almost worse than before.
Personally, it was very very hard for me to make the discision to break it off, since he was always the dominating force in the relationship, and we had been living together for so long. It takes getting used to, but being single is not the same as being alone. Sometimes it's better to get out before things really go south, maybe then you can still have a functioning friendship. My advice? Take a break. Take time for yourself. Travel, spend time with your family. Focus on school. get a job and save up money for a vacation or trip to the coast, or around the world. Take advantage of being single and live the life you want. And when you're done, find someone for whom it isn't a chore to make time for someone they love.
good luck.
I'm in a imilar position to "soconfused54" - My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 and a half years, we had the usual up's and downs but recently I found out he'd been lying to me and we had a huge row so I ended it.
Anyway this was two months ago and since then he's been determined to make it all right, saying he's learned and all this so we decided to see how it goes and it's been going pretty well considering the whole thing - we went on our holiday (which was planned before the break-up and non re-fundable) last week and had an AMAZING time. He's been promisisng to put it all right, saying I'm his soul mate and all this.
Then yesterday we argued over the pettiest thing, he didn't call as promised so I called him and he got defensive and angry (which bugged me as he should have been sorry in my opinion) so we argued and he turned his phone off and ignored me. Then his phone is on and he's texting me saying he doesn't wanna talk as he doesn't wanna fight. I'm saying "We won't I promise, I was angry but now I just wanna talk to you" - well his phone goes back off and stays off. So I tell him I'm going out to the cinema and turning phone off - straight away he tries to call. I turn my phone off - 2 hours later I switch is on to texts and phone calls (Girls, it obviously works both ways it was bugging him I wasn't picking up) so he calls and I answer and he gives me this long apology for ignoring me, says he loves me blah blah
Then he asks who I went to the cinema with, worrying it's a boy (it wasn't) so he won't shut up about it and I'm trying to continue our talk about his apology and he won't have it. starts getting shirty saying "If it's a boy I'll be insanely jealous" to which I reply "Even if it was, you were ignoring me and I assumed it was over" so he hangs up. This was last night - haven't heard from him all day. Tried calling and texting.
I don't think I'll hear from him again. year and a half thrown away over a petty argument about a phone call. I don't understand him.
Good luck to you all :) xx
I was in the EXACT same situation. my boyfriend (now ex) is 18 and I am 16 and we broke up about a week ago. we were together for 6 months. when you start out, the relationship is great, and you can't keep your hands off each other. but then, he always acted like it was a chore to spend any time with me at all. he worked a ton and became extremely distant and I didn't know what to do. the more I tried to give him space and not hound him the shittier I felt. I knew a break up was coming and when it did I was more upset over the fact that I felt alone than the fact that I was losing him. I loved him but I think I loved the way he made me feel more. ask yourself if this bad feeling is really worth it to have until HE feels like he can show that he cares about you, because sometimes guys are just more concerned about other things. and I know it hurts.
if you really do love him and want to stay with him, then I would suggest COMMUNICATION. if there is one thing that I wish I could have done better it was communicate with him. I tried to resort to ignoring him back so that he would have to talk to ME. but it doesn't work all the time and it ended up making me feel worse when he didn't call or text me. over the past couple weeks I have realized that our split will be better for us both in the end, and I hope it helps you to know that if it resorts to break up, it's not over and your not alone!!! good luck!!
same thing going on with me. my boyfriend has anger issues, or at least I think so. he gets pissed off at the stupidest things. we've been dating for almost 2 years, I'm 18, he's 20. the relationship is pretty serious, and I love him, but I don't know if I see myself marrying him eventually. so basically, we were at a ballgame a few days ago, he got out of hand. (screaming and slamming his coat down onto the bleachers) I told him to calm down or go sit somewhere else. he told ME to shut up. so, quite frankly I was pissed. I haven't talked to him since, it's been like 3 days. he hasn't talked to me either. I did text him like twice saying "hey". but that was all. it IS my first relationship. I think I am handling it very well. :( of course I'm sad and I miss him. but he's being an a**. if he does this for a few more days I'm just going to end it. I'm worth more than waiting for him to get over whatever he's mad at and contact me. and you're worth more too. if he does it now, he'll do it if you get married. and then it will only be worse and last longer. just give him some space, let him be the first to contact you. and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. cry, mourn, and then move on. simple as that. (I'm not trying to sound cold, I AM really upset, but if you let them know that they will use it against you)
same thing going on with me. my boyfriend has anger issues, or at least I think so. he gets pissed off at the stupidest things. we've been dating for almost 2 years, I'm 18, he's 20. the relationship is pretty serious, and I love him, but I don't know if I see myself marrying him eventually. so basically, we were at a ballgame a few days ago, he got out of hand. (screaming and slamming his coat down onto the bleachers) I told him to calm down or go sit somewhere else. he told ME to shut up. so, quite frankly I was pissed. I haven't talked to him since, it's been like 3 days. he hasn't talked to me either. I did text him like twice saying "hey". but that was all. it IS my first relationship. I think I am handling it very well. :( of course I'm sad and I miss him. but he's being an a**. if he does this for a few more days I'm just going to end it. I'm worth more than waiting for him to get over whatever he's mad at and contact me. and you're worth more too. if he does it now, he'll do it if you get married. and then it will only be worse and last longer. just give him some space, let him be the first to contact you. and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. cry, mourn, and then move on. simple as that. (I'm not trying to sound cold, I AM really upset, but if you let them know that they will use it against you)
My boyfriend and I never talk unless I call him, and when we do talk he always seems like he wants to be doing something else. Sometimes he'll cut me off and say "Can I call you back?" but never calls me back and I have to call him. It makes me feel like I'm worthless, chasing after him the way I do. I've tried talking to him about it but he says he's busy with school and work and has no money to come and visit me (I'm an hour away from him now cause he stayed in community college). I tried giving him space and he kind of noticed but I did not last long until I was blowing up his phone again.
It's gotten to the point now where all I do is just drown myself in alcohol to chase our distance away and it hurts so much. Now I'm talking to all kinds of different guys, all of them tools, and letting them use me just so I can feel loved for a few moments.
My best advice is to tough it out and move on, and this is for ALL of you. Don't let yourselves fall into a depression like the one im in. It's not worth it.
I have a similar problem. I've been seeing this guy for like two months and he seemed amazing. I really felt myself falling for him and he seemed to feel the same way. We spoke like all the time, we have so much in common. Sometimes I wonder if we were like speaking too much and maybe needed time out? I don't know. But then one day I text him and he ignored me. I didn't think anything of it, but then it got worse. He wasn't replying to any of my texts AT ALL, he occasionally instant messaged me but that's it. This really upset me but I didn't let myself get down about it I just ignored him back and I thought that if he cared he would talk to ME. Eventually he spoke to me more, he probably just needed some time out. I think if your in a similiar situation you should just chill out, and don't get too overpossessive as sometimes it's easy when someones ignoring you. There's probably nothing wrong with you, he just needs time. I hope this helps.
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my boyfriend has been ignoring my texts, and sometimes taking 3-4 hours to answer back. I have concluded that he is either busy with college work, hanging out with his college buddies, or very busy. I obviously know its not me, I am a very attractive girl, and if he was to ignore me on purpose, its his lose. so, to answer your question, he is not really ignoring you. It may seem like that; I am not justifying his actions, but ...maybe he's very busy, and it slipped his mind to get in contact with you. If its more serious, sit him down and have a one-on-one conversation with him. If he cares about you, he'll acknowledge your needs. BUT do not come off as needy (don't constantly call or text him, if he gives you space...give him space too)
well its tough to answer .. men are unpredictable and so re the circumstances... but my advice ... first try to find out rfrom some reference that what is going in his life... ( might brr some serious personal problem) 2 dont terrorize him by calling im so frequient.. givw space to him and to u ... feell .. this feeling of being alone for a while .. when you be through it you will experience that the time you spend withu was moregraceful then anyting .. you will grow as aperson.. and if things go neagtive with himm ,... you will find better .. because of d alone experience ypu reaped... tc
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Hey, I cn personally say, from experience since I am probably the same type of guy, that he probably is under stress. You should comfort him, talk to him every day, even if it's just for 5 min. Try to find out what it is that is bugging him and then try to help solve it. Let him know that you are there for him at all times. Call him, see if he is busy, if not, then go for a walk, talk to him, that always helped me. Also, about the "Love You thing, maybe hes just confused on things and hes relying on you to understand he still loves you... Well hope this helps anyone with this problem...
Sounds like he is a very to himself person and doesnt count on anyone but himself! you need to make him understand that becos he has chosen to be in a relationship with you, you are in this together, the good and the bad and for you its been more bad lately and its not fair that you dont know whats going on in his head. Id speak to him about it, you have feelings to and deserve an answer to whats happening and if he even wants to be in the relationship anymore becos if he does he needs to step up and make some more effort to keep you!
I've been with my boyfriend for a year. were both 21. were both each others first. relationship and sex. he's never ignored me before. weve been seeing each other almost every day since we've been dating. we had the SMALLEST little arguement 3 days ago. it wasnt even an arguement. it was more like 2 text messages. he hasnt talked to me since. his phone is either broken or turned off...and he hasnt tried contacting me at all. what the hell is going on!??!?!
im feeling the same thing my boyfriend is acting the same way and he just told me that his grandmother has recently died and im trying to give him his space but im in love wit him he stop calling and saying I luv you but I just think he is upset and befor he told me his grandmother died he took his anger out on me and said he hated me so much and after a day or two he apoligized but now when I call he dosent pick up and when he dose he dosent say much
same with my boyfriend. im 17 and he's 21, we've been dateing for 3 months. and we feel a big connection. but this week we were falling apart,then I talked to him and we talked about our issues. I called him toniught and he was with his friend. it's understandable to hang out with his friend and talk to him, but to completley ignore as if im not on the phone at all, then when he ate he said he would call later, but he never called :(
well, my boyfriends stressed atm, school basicly. I'm 16 and hes 15 but hes in the yr below, hes got a couple of exams and a lot of work. recently we fell out and not spoke for a couple of days. then we made up, but the thing is he wants me to not be as needy etc, because its making his stress worse and stuff. its so hard to back off, because I love him and because hes distant than normal its like eugh..
I got the same problem too .. boyfriend is ignoring me.. I tried so hard to talk to him. everything on earth I try to make a conversation with him. but he just silent. my boyfriend and I are living together, he can just his own stuff and we did not communicate for like 8 hrs and more. sometimes I feel so tired trying to talk to him. but when he is with his friend he talks a lot.. I feel so sad.
when your boyfriend egnores you there a couple of reasons why , firstly he might be busy, might be on the phone , or he might be showing you he doesnt have intreast in you nomore ! , if this happends then show him you dont care and dont keep texting and when he decides he wants to text you egnore him and then he will realize something is up and start asking you and mivering :) haaaaaa xx
its very easy girls why are you being sad, leave him if any person can not understand your feeling,he is not able to u, life is short and keep trying to search new friends and love with whome who love u... me also boy and I know the nature of boys if you igrnore your boy friend he will be urs, only this is a way boys dont like those girls who didnt give them space.
sounds like he's about to break up with you. if his answers arent enough be like well until you find yourself then I think we should see other people
I did it before
feels like a VICTORY!!!
ASK HIM WATS WRONG TELL HIM you CAN HELP IF HE WANTS you 2
