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are moment was ruined because of me and this is why I need help

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we were at the park in the abandoned part of it so we were all alone. and me and my b/f started to makeout and soon came to groping and I took off my shirt. it was all good. until he tried to go down my pants I keep telling myself that its alright its alright but I freaked out and said no and just started to pull his arm up. he asked why and I said some other time. but really I didnt want to do it because of what he might think or say about whats down there like something about pubs or something.(I know retarted right). and I really think he is special and stuff. and I really want to go that far with him.(fingering). but I keep freaking out.

where should I go to do this. what can I do to make myself okay with this. what should I do to make that self conciousness of what he might thinks go away.