All fair in love and war???

After reading your post I gotta say: slow down. This guy might flatter and flirt at every opportunity, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s interested in you. It could be completely innocent; something exciting to blow off steam. It could also signify problems in his marriage, but for all you know, he’s just in it for a little female attention.

Has he said anything more than what you typed? Because if not, there’s a possibility you’re blowing things out of proportion. That could be why mutual friends aren’t very surprised at his behavior. Maybe it’s normal for him. When you’re “crushing” on someone it’s very hard to look at things objectively, but that’s what you need to do.

What else do you know about his family situation? Can you find out more? Does he always hit on you? Have you asked your friends their opinion? Does he flirt with others? How often? What more do you know about him? His past relationships? How well do you know him? How long have you known him?

It’s embarrassing, but you should confront him. Ask him what he’s trying to do, or if he likes you in a non-platonic way. It’s the easiest method for finding out his intentions. If he’s offended, just apologize. It’ll be awkward at first, but things will soon return to a more distanced normal.

But hold on; let’s say he does have feelings for you. Yippee, right? Wrong. He’s married. Any relationship you have will be based on a lie, and statistically speaking, most men don’t leave their wives for their mistresses. If it turns out that he returns your feelings, he should care enough not to make you the “other woman”. You can always wait for a divorce to finalized. But again, proceed with caution. Don’t break up a marriage over a guy you only like, it’s a sure trip to guiltsville.

If he’s not willing to leave his wife, is only interested in a fling, or makes a move without discussing either option, it’s up to you to decide what you feel comfortable with, because it’s you who’ll have to live with it the next day.

Bottom line, I say a guy who’s willing to flirt with you while wearing a wedding ring and in front of people who know his wife, isn’t good boyfriend material. Feel flattered, but try to set up some boundaries. Avoid or confront this guy, but by all means, don’t ignore the problem. Even if you’re wearing rose colored glasses and are misreading his intentions, you need to know that know. Unrequited love sucks.

-King