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13 and pregnant, what do I do?
ok so im 13 and I just found out that im pregnant my mom knows that I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend and shes told me a million times that wed better use protection because if I get pregnant my life will be ruined…and she will be humiliated…me and my boyfriend HAVE been using protection I dont know how I couldve gotten pregnant! but if I tell that to my family they are not gunna believe that! I dont want them to be humiliated like they say they will! what do I do!!??
get an abortion.
its the cold, hard, reality of the situation; you may not want to hear it, but you’re a child yourself and if you are to bring your pregnancy to the point of partuition (birth) with as young as you are, the child isn’t going to have the best life you can provide it than you could if you were older and wiser, with your own home and sustainable income.
don’t think I’m just blowing smoke up your butt, I know how frightening and emotionally wrenching this is for you; I came from a very strict Catholic upbringing, and was always taught that pre-marital sex, birth control and especially abortion was the epitome of evil, but, being a normal healthy teenager, I lost my virginity a few days after I turned 14, then a year later when I just turned 15 I became pregnant.
I opted for the procedure during the tailend of the third trimester. I still had to fess up to my boyfriend (who I’m still with today, and I’m turning 22 next monday…our 9th anniversary is next May!) and my parents…it sucked, yeah, and it hurt emotionally (not so bad physically, it was with RU-486 from my ob/gyn, just a lot of nasty cramps and spotting for about a month), but I knew deep down that it was the correct choice.
it’s unfair to you, your family, and your boyfriend to suffer through the heartache, humiliation, copious amounts of medical bills, physical trauma, financial issues, and the fact that you’ll miss out on your entire young adulthood.
think about it, taking a drivers license test at age 16 with your THREE YEAR OLD CHILD in the backseat crying, graduating from high school at 18 when your FIVE YEAR OLD is graduating from kindergarten…on your 21st birthday, wanting to go to the bars with your friends to celebrate becoming a true adult but not being able to do so because your EIGHT YEAR OLD KID is upset that their crush didn’t call them that night and you’re stuck at home consoling them…the cycle will complete itself when your child confronts you at age 13 to let you know that they’re having a baby.
no lessons learned, all pain and suffering, all humilition and shame, family problems for life…you’re too young, and the baby will suffer.
even if it goes against your personal or religious beliefs, its simply a medical procedure if its within the first trimester (I.e. first 3 months of the pregnancy); its not even human yet, just a bundle of cells splitting and multiplying, resembling a tiny raspberry. sure the heart cells and central nervous system is developing and the “heart” is beating but heart cells pulsate when removed from the body and stuck in a Petri dish…its just how heart cells operate, its not really a sign of life or consciousness so don’t let those “pro-life” weirdos sway you away from making the most important decision of your young life!
it’d be foolish to seriously consider bringing this child into the world if you’re not ready emotionally, physically, and financially.
just from the scariness of this situation and the knowledge that you became pregnant from insufficient contraceptive procedures (you’re 13…you’re UBER-fertile at this age with the crazy amount of hormones and all that, you should be using at LEAST 2 forms of birth control at this age if you don’t want to be absinent…condom + pill, pill + vaginal sponge, etc) should be enough for you to realize you messed up big time and how to avoid it from happening again until you know you’re ready to become a mom.
its not like I hate babies or anything, its quite to the contrary; I believe that a child should be brought into the world only when BOTH PARENTS are ready to become a mommy and a daddy, not because they messed up their birth control method somehow and had sex. its not fair to anyone involved, especially the child. a baby should come into a home where there’s no worries about finances, and the parents are READY for a kid, not just forced into it.
best of luck, I know how you must feel, and I hope that my long, ranting two cents on the matter helps you out. ultimately, it is your decision and not your parents’ or boyfriends. its your body, your choice. if you do opt for having the abortion, please, PLEASE make sure you have it done by an actual ob/gyn doctor in their sterile office setting and not by some creepy person in their house…Google the history of abortion in the United States, and you’ll know why you’re going to want to do some research…
…again, good luck, hang tough, and just know that you’re not the only one out there who’s been through this :P
No pregnancy prevention protects you 100% so no matter what, if you’re having sex, there is a chance you’ll get pregnant. You cant prove that you were using protection so I guess you’ll just have to live with that. There is no easy way to talk to them about this, but you’ll feel better once you get it out. Obviously they’re going to be mad, I mean you’re 13-years-old and your mom is right. You need to decide with your boyfriend what you’re going to do, you need SOME sort of plan. Like I don’t see how a 13-year-old could raise a baby properly, they are so much money. My friend is 19-year-old with lots of money and she still struggles to give her baby the proper needs. How are you going to afford diapers and formula almost everyday? And what if your baby gets sick, how will you afford the medical bills? You really need to figure this all out then you AND your boyfriend need to sick down with your parents and tell them. It’s time to take responsibility for your actions, good luck.
You have to tell your parents the truth and figure out what your options are which means getting informed and seeing a doctor. You have the option of having the baby, aborting or giving it up for adoption and this decision will be hard enough to make so I’d concentrate trying to figure this one out and worry less about my parents being pissed.
Your family needs to know so they can help you. As for being humiliated well this is their choice. They don’t need to put the blame on you and you needn’t feel guilty about this (you obviously didn’t choose to be pregnant). They don’t have to feel humiliated but if this is how they choose to feel you can’t do much about it. What’s important is that you concentrate on yourself and what you want to do about your pregnancy. Let them be angry, humiliated or whatever but in the end your the one that will have to bear the consequences so put yourself first.
WOAH, I meant “FIRST TRIMESTER” on my post…3rd would be uber-illegal/ultra-immoral…poopsicles, my bad…didn’t mean to flub that one up that bad.
yargh, sorry.
CLARIFICATION: TOOK RU-486 DURING TAILEND OF THE FIRST (1ST, UNO, ICHI, EIN, and all other translations of the word “one” or “first”) TRIMESTER.
oy, epic forum fail :P
Well, on the Simpsons (I know, but its a pretty good idea) this girl who Bart knows gets pregnant and she has the baby but then her mom just makes it look like she had another child, if your mom is young enough you could be able to pull it off.
DONT NOT GET A abortion its the worst thing you can go through,… I need to talk to you mum… she what she thinks you can do WHAT EVER IT IS MAKE SURE you DONT HAVE ABORTION IT WILL ruin your life!!
~ merry christmas ~
dont get an abortion unlees you want to. your parents will be mad at first but it is happing. I am 15 and it was the worst thing I could have done I did not think about it. it will be hard looking after a child but you will have help. good luck with it all.
Tell your mom! No matter what she’s said in the past, she IS there for you. It is better to tell her and let her tell your dad. She may be mad at first, so don’t “get into it” with her. Give her some time (a day or two) to come to terms with the situation. It not only is going to change your life a lot but it is going to change hers too.
Trust your mom and give her some credit. She does love you and her bark really is worse than her bite.
Simply a Rose to brighten your day, And maybe lessen the cares in your way; And also, too, to help you to know, That in knowing you, many others grow!
And remember the decision is entirely yours…get informed and think about it. There are other options then just abortion.
Why would your mother be okay with you having sex in the first place? You’re not even a teenager.
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